


Finding Forever:  a Christmas/Holiday Story

by carolinenite



Series: Finding Forever [1]
Category: The Newsroom (US TV)
Genre: Christmas, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Gen, Holidays
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-18
Updated: 2018-01-21
Packaged: 2019-02-04 00:09:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 28,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12759099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carolinenite/pseuds/carolinenite
Summary: Mackenzie McHale hasn't seen Will McAvoy in 17 years.  When he shows up on her doorstep, Mackenzie's carefully ordered world is shaken to its core.  Can Will convince Mac that he's back for good and get back the woman he loves?Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years set the perfect scene for romance to rekindle.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story is told in a series of flashbacks interspersed with present time... they are deliniated with a ~ symbol.
> 
> Welcome! I can't wait to share this story with you!

**_ 1 _ **

 Mackenzie McHale was tucked into the corner of her couch, engrossed in the final chapters of a book compelling enough that it had prompted her to treat herself to a rare afternoon off.  As both the Editor-in-Chief of her local newspaper and the owner of a small café, The Main, it was almost unheard of that Mackenzie was able to take an afternoon away from both of her passions.  However, a quiet afternoon at The Main and a conversation with her second in command at the paper, Jim Harper _(more an ultimatum really, though where Jim found the nerve to demand that she take the rest of the day off, they could handle it, she’d never know)_ had prompted Mackenzie to leave her cafe early, come home to her peacefully empty house, and quickly lose herself in the narrative.  Pages away from a wild finish, she was startled by the sound of tentative raps on the front door.

 “Who on earth?” she wondered aloud.  _No one uses the front door._

 With a small sigh of regret, Mackenzie laid her book aside and padded across the dark hardwood to the door.  As she flipped the dead bolt, she cast a brief longing glance toward the couch and her peaceful afternoon.  Mackenzie opened the door a crack to glance at the visitor, felt her eyes go wide, and opened the door completely.  The man at the door was older than she remembered him, slightly lighter around the temples, and with some wrinkles that were new to the familiar face, but, he was still _him_.

 “Will?” she queried, taken aback.  She spent a moment studying the man in her doorway, wondering for a brief moment if she was having an out of body experience, before stepping back to allow him to enter through the doorway.  “P-please, please come in.”

“Thanks, Mac.”   His smile was genuine and reached all the way to his blue-grey eyes.

“You’re still the only one who has ever called me that,” she said, returning his smile.

 She led the way into the living area, where her couch and book waited, and motioned for him to sit.  With the confident poise that Mackenzie had come to associate with Will years ago, he claimed an overstuffed leather chair that always seemed to swallow her; it seemed just right for his tall frame.  They sat for a moment in silence, the quiet acting as a third party in the room.

 “I heard you had set up shop here,” he said, finally.

 “And thought you might pop by for a visit?” Mackenzie asked, not expecting an answer.

 “I thought I would come and see how you turned out,” he replied, smiling again.  This time, though, it didn’t quite reach his eyes.  Mackenzie huffed and forcefully tucked a dark lock behind her ear.

 “I wasn’t a child when we knew each other, Billy.  I was in my twenties; I certainly knew my mind then, just as I know it now.”

 “Now don’t get wound up, Mac,” he said, raising both hands in a gesture of surrender.  “I just meant I came to see how things had turned out for you.  I wanted to know about you, how you’ve been for seventeen years.  See that face of yours.  Things like that.”

 “Seventeen years,” she said slowly, “It has been.  Hasn’t it?”  She paused for a long second, allowing the irony to sink in before continuing, “Seventeen years always has meant a lot to you.”

 Regret filled Will’s eyes as he nodded.  She nodded too and allowed herself to slip back in time to her own early twenties to the day when she had met William Duncan McAvoy, dashingly handsome and seventeen years older than her.

  

**_~_ **

  

“Mackenzie McHale, this is Will McAvoy.  Will, Mackenzie,” Charlie Skinner, owner of the news magazine where Mackenzie had done her college internship, spoke, introducing the two.

 “Hi, Will,” Mackenzie said, infusing her voice with a confidence that she wished she felt.  She extended her hand.  “Nice to meet you!”

 “Pleasure’s all mine,” the tall man said, gripping the proffered hand and shaking it warmly.  His hair was the color of wet sand on a bright day, and his handshake spoke volumes about his charming character.

 “Mackenzie’s going to do some freelance work for us.  I haven’t been able to nail her down to a contract yet.  She keeps talking about leaving for a job with a paper in England.  We’re excited to see what kind of hard-hitting pieces she’s going to send our way,” Charlie continued. “I haven’t seen this much talent in a long time.”

 “Bringing in someone to cover the arts and leisure?” Will asked with a wink.  Something was pinging his radar about this woman, but he couldn’t pinpoint what.  Young, stubborn pride brought Mackenzie’s chin up. 

 “I’m currently working on a piece about the current leadership of the local unions and their under the table partnerships with big business.  I’m not sure if that’s considered ‘working for the people’ where you’re from, Mr. McAvoy, but in my town, it bears reporting.”

 “Impressive, isn’t she, Will?”  Charlie said with a smirk.  Mackenzie blushed, knowing she had taken the bait dangled in front of her.  She had to look up to meet the eyes of the man who had tempted her into the passionate response.  When she did, she found humor there.

 “Intriguing, to say the least,” Will responded to Charlie, but never broke eye contact with Mackenzie.  Her blush deepened.

 “Will is a friend from bygone days,” Charlie said, looking between Mackenzie and Will and unable to meet the eyes of either.  “He’s a fantastic lawyer and an even better commentator.  I would have loved to have been able to turn him into a newsman, but he’s been out there fighting like hell for the underdogs, and I never could convince him to devote his career to my passions.” Charlie smiled openly at Will, respect for his friend coloring his tone.  Will was still locked in Mackenzie’s gaze.

 “I like to stop by every once in a while to make sure I’ve still got a fallback plan, just in case the legal profession ever turns its back on me.”  Will offered with a casual shrug.

 “Well certainly,” Mackenzie said, enthralled by the masculine energy pouring off the handsome man with whom she could not seem to break eye contact.  Another silent moment went by.  With a start, Mackenzie realized that she had been staring into the eyes of a stranger for more than a minute and shook her head lightly, breaking the connection.  “Charlie, I think I have all I need to start working,” she said, her voice higher than intended.  She cleared her throat and started again.  “I should be good to go with this.  We can talk more later?”

 “Of course!  We’ll speak next week.  Let Millie know if you need anything.”  Mackenzie nodded at him and offered before turning for the door.  Charlie watched Will’s eyes track Mackenzie almost to the door.

 “It was nice to meet you, Mackenzie McHale,” Will called after the seemingly fleeing figure.  Mackenzie flinched.  She hated to be found wanting for manners, and she hated, even more, feeling off balance in front of Charlie Skinner, who she needed to keep impressed with her.

 “A pleasure!” Mackenzie chirped.  Her nerves were badly shaken by this man, and she couldn’t quite identify why.  Will smiled at her, his eyes claiming to know her far better than their brief introduction.  She turned and exited Charlie’s office, blushing furiously and playing the interaction back in her head.  The buzzing of her phone in her bag brought her back to the present.  The number registered unfamiliar.  “Mackenzie McHale,” she said into the device.  “Oh, yes, hi,” she stumbled through the words, stopping in her tracks.  “Dinner?... I _am_ familiar with the concept, yes… Madison’s?  7 o’clock… Yes.  I can do that… Alright.”  The call ended, and Mackenzie looked at the phone for a moment before depressing a button and returning the phone to her ear.  She started her car and pointed it towards home.  “Sloan,” she began, when the call connected, “it’s Kenzie.  I just had the most bizarre meeting with Charlie Skinner, and I think I have a date tonight.”

 “You think?” Sloan Sabbith, Mackenzie’s closet friend queried.  “Yet, I’m the one that they say has no human knowledge.  And hasn’t Charlie Skinner been married since the dawn of time to that Nancy person?  Since when do you date married guys?”

 “Sloan, take a breath.  Yes, Charlie has been married since before I was even born.  I’m not going to dinner with him.  There was a man in his office.  A tall, handsome, accomplished man.”

 “Is _he_ married?”  Sloan’s question brought Mackenzie up short.  It hadn’t even occurred to her to ask.  With the speed that comes only with panic, Mackenzie replayed, again, the interaction.  Certainty washed over her.

 “He wasn’t wearing a ring.”

“I’d double check that before you order the entrees.”  Sloan paused, ostensibly, in Mackenzie’s mind, to check whatever file had been placed on her desk.  “Tell me about him.”

 “He’s a friend of Charlie’s, for ages, it seems.  Some sort of legal whiz who dabbles in consulting or commentating or something like that.”

 “Does he want to hire you?”

 “To do what, Sloan?” Mackenzie put forth the question with a petulant sigh, hoping Sloan wouldn’t be able to come up with an answer.

“I don’t know, Kenzie.  I think everyone should hire you.”

 “Nice save,” Mackenzie said with a small snort.  “Anyway, Charlie must have handed over my number because before I even reached my car, my phone rang, and it was him.  We’re having dinner at Madison’s.”  She paused debating how much to voice her thoughts.  “And Sloan, he’s utterly charming in a mid-western kind of way, a little twang in his voice.  Very tall.”

“How much time did you spend with him?” Sloan’s skepticism was betrayed in her tone.  Mackenzie saw the best in everyone, sometimes even when presented with evidence to the contrary.  It took a major betrayal to push Mackenzie McHale to her breaking point.

“I know, Sloan, honestly, I do!  But, it’s just dinner.”  Mackenzie pulled into the driveway of the home that she had recently purchased using the majority of her savings.  Her diplomat father had offered his help, and her mother tried everything short of wiring money into her daughter’s account, but Mackenzie had felt strongly that she wanted to stand on her own, regardless of the status of her family.  As she did every time she arrived home, she smiled.  “I’ll call you tomorrow, alright?”  Mackenzie disconnected the call and let the sense of anticipation wash over her.  _Will McAvoy, I’ll see you at dinner._

**_~_ **

 Mackenzie smiled at the barrage of memories and met the eyes of the man who had wined and dined her that night many years ago.

“Where did you go, Mac?” Will’s voice broke into her thoughts.

“I was thinking about the day we met,” Mackenzie murmured.  “You were so charming, so very you.  I fell in love with you right there, when you baited me in Charlie’s office.”

“I know you did,” he stared intently at the wall above Mackenzie’s head.  “I fell for you, too, regardless of how it turned out in the end.”  At that, he met her eyes.  They stayed like that for a moment, staring into each other's expressions, soaking in each other’s presence.  Mackenzie felt the old hurt start to well up in the back of her throat. 

“Well, this has been a lovely trip down memory lane,” she said, voice thick with emotion. “And, as you can see, I ‘turned out’ just fine.”

“Yes.  Yes, you did,” Will said, clear appreciation of her feminine figure in his eyes.  His own memories were a sharp as hers, though from a slightly different perspective.  He rose.  “I’ve clearly caught you off guard.  I’m sorry!  I assumed that you’d heard that I bought a place up here.”

Mackenzie shook her head lightly.  “I hadn’t heard.  Welcome to town,” she spoke, voice rough.

“I’ll take my exit cue where I see it, Mac.”  Mackenzie nodded and led Will to the door.  As she depressed the latch and turned to show him out, he bent and kissed her lightly on the cheek.  “It was sure nice to see you, Mackenzie,” he said quietly, near her ear.  And then he was gone.

Mackenzie pressed the back of her hand to the spot where Will’s lips had caressed her cheek and leaned against the door, startled.  _I’m still in love with him?… Surely not after all these years._   But Mackenzie McHale knew her heart, and she knew, without a doubt, that it was now, as it was seventeen years ago, very dangerous for her heart to be in love with Will McAvoy. 

She returned to her couch and tried to settle back into the last chapter of her book.  After reading the same page three times, she snapped the book shut, frustrated.  _Damn!_    Grabbing her purse, keys and a raincoat, she headed for the door.  During her drive back into town, she stormed inwardly and looked at the building autumn thunderheads rolling across the sky.  “You look like I feel,” she told them as she allowed herself to revisit her first evening with Will McAvoy.

**_~_ **

“Mackenzie, I want to thank you for the most enjoyable evening I’ve had in years.”  Will laid some bills on the table to cover their bistro tab.  Dinner had turned into a few bottles of wine, dinner, dessert, and coffee.  The conversation flowed freely from the moment she arrived to meet him; they had bounced from the law to current events, from politics to their families.  They laughed heartily at the other’s quips, argued differing points with fierce passion, and each scored a few points in changing their dinner partner’s mind.  It felt, to both of them, like a meeting of old and dear friends, rather than a first date.  “I’d like to see you to your car,” he continued, rising to assist Mackenzie out of her chair.  She smiled her acquiescence and allowed her arm to intertwine with his.

As they reached Mackenzie’s car, Will reached around her and opened her door.  She smiled at the gesture, which felt more gallant than patronizing coming from him.  She found herself in a space created between her car and her date, and her heartrate quickened.  She looked up into his eyes and silently begged him to kiss her, to take the evening from lovely to perfect.  Dark desire was burning in his eyes for her; she knew, without question, that he wanted to put his hand on the small of her back, pull her closer, and kiss her.  Just beyond the desire in Will’s eyes, Mackenzie saw hesitation and just a touch of sadness.

“What is it?” she asked, quietly.  She felt her face go serious as some of the magic of the evening slipped away.

“Mackenzie, I am so drawn to you, but…” he trailed off and used his index finger to coax her mouth back into a smile.  “But you’re twenty-one.  And I’m not.  It doesn’t feel fair to you to pursue this.”

“I see,” was all she could manage as all the air left her lungs.  After a beat, Mackenzie recovered herself, thanked Will again for dinner and drove away.  She bit back tears that she couldn’t explain.  “You’ve only known this man for a few hours,” she spoke to herself on the drive.  “You had a lovely dinner, and that was it.”  She sniffed lightly.  “Enough.”  She nodded at herself in the mirror resolving to put the encounter in its proper place—chalked up as a one-off, charming evening.

As she pulled into her driveway, Mackenzie heard her phone chirp.  The message read:  _There’s a bar in town called Hang Chews.  I’ll be there tomorrow at 7 pm.  Will you?_

Mackenzie smiled and responded with only one word:  _Yes._  

**_~_**  

Mackenzie shed a single, unbidden tear.  As she brushed it away, she squared her shoulders and set her face. 

“He may be back in town,” she said aloud to the empty car, “but he is not back in my life.”

Ten minutes later, Mackenzie breezed into her café, The Main, and replaced the grim expression on her face one more passive.  She would have preferred to have returned to the paper for the afternoon, but Jim had seemed resolute in his stance that she take an afternoon off.  She wasn’t feeling confrontational; she just wanted to clear her head.  The kitchen at The Main was the perfect place for that.

“Boss!” Don, her general manager, was genuinely surprised to see her. “I thought you went home for the day.”

Mackenzie paused to deposit her raincoat on the coatrack by the door and smiled broadly at her friend.

“You know me, Don.  I couldn’t stay away.”  Mackenzie greeted several people around the room.  Between the café, the paper, and her community involvement, she was connected with most people in the small town.  She picked up a carafe of coffee and filled a few close-to-empty cups, settling her nerves in the familiar ritual.  Once she had established her presence in the room, Mackenzie made her way back into the bakery-style kitchen.  She slipped an apron over her head and smiled at Don as he followed her through the doors.

“Mackenzie, what’s really going on?  Jim called and said that he had practically had to force you to take an afternoon off.  He’d have both our heads if he knew you were here working.” 

“Jim thinks I work too hard.”

“You do work too hard, Kenz.”

“Further, I’m not working.  I’m,” she paused, unsure how to finish her own sentence.  “I’m not sure what I’m doing, but I’m not working.”

“Well then,” Don said, cocking an eyebrow at her, “I’ll see to the shop and leave you to it.”  He glanced at the two women working in the space.  They nodded silently at him and continued their work.  Mackenzie sometimes sought solace in this space, used it as a meditation space to work out whatever issues were plaguing the paper or the town.  The kitchen staff worked around her, and she around them.

“Thanks, Don.”  Mackenzie offered him a grateful smile as he left her to her own devices.  She lifted a remote control from the counter, and with the push of a few buttons, the sounds of an upbeat jazz combo filled the bakery kitchen.  Mackenzie rolled up her sleeves and went to work.  An hour and a half passed before she was happy with what she had created.  She didn’t hear the swinging door open toward her, didn’t notice the two workers exiting or the man entering as she divided the dough into triangles and laid the pieces on pans.  With the deft skill of someone who both loves their work and is talented in the practice of it, Mackenzie closed the oven behind the trays and smiled at them.  “You will either be a famous success or a dreadful failure,” she told them.  She continued as she made notes on the paper that was covered with flour and other spices.  “There will be no in-between.”

“There never was with you,” a voice said from behind her.  Mackenzie jumped and let loose a small shriek.

“Dammit, Will!”  She whirled to face him.  “You scared the hell out of me!”  Dragging in a steadying breath, she narrowed her eyes at him.  “What are you doing here?”

“I wasn’t trying to startle you.  I was across the street picking up some paint for the house and saw you blow in here.  I just wanted to apologize for the ambush at your place.  I wasn’t trying to put you on the defensive or make you uncomfortable.  I just wanted to _see_ you.”  He paused and smiled sheepishly.  “And your staff was starting to worry.  I was asking for the boss, and they didn’t know what to do.   They know better than to disturb you when you’re in this mood.”

“But _you’ve_ got no problem interrupting?”  Mackenzie’s hand flew to her mouth.  “I’m sorry.  That wasn’t nice.”

“I know you better than you think, Mac.  Your music changed from that nightmare, whirlwind garbage that you’re so fond of to something much more… our speed.”  He paused, and she felt herself blush.  Van Morrison _had_ been one of their go-to artists, a long time ago.  While it wasn’t a conscious choice to play it today, her instincts had taken over, and the music had accomplished her goal:  she was again certain of herself and her life.  “When your music settles, you’ve settled.”  Mackenzie smiled.  Will knew her better than anyone, even now.  She dusted the spices and flour from her apron, mildly self-conscious in his understanding of her.  “Let me help.”  He took a step toward her.  His hand reached out to brush a streak of flour from her cheek and stayed there, thumb tracing back and forth across her cheek bone.  “You’re a mess, Mac,” he said, lips barely an inch from hers. 

“I was working.”  The words were only a whisper, spoken as her eyes fluttered.  His free hand reached around and tugged the elastic band from her hair.  As her hair tumbled around her shoulders, he dropped the elastic and let his hand tangle in the dark mass.  Will drug in a deep breath, his own memories awakening to the familiar smell of her.   His mouth grazed her neck, and her hands looped around his waist.  The familiar feel of him sent Mackenzie reeling back into the depths of her memory.

**_~_**  

For the third night in a row, Will and Mackenzie were sharing a dinner.  In the 72 hours since they had met in Charlie’s office, the pair had spent an inordinate amount of time in each other’s company.  Between cocktails, dinners, and desserts, Mackenzie found herself eating birdlike breakfasts and nibbling on lunches while she worked at the paper, poring over union documents and town council minutes.  Will found himself rearranging evening meetings and struggling to focus on the work that he needed to finish during the day.

“For a minute, I really thought the waitress was going to bring you the whole bottle of Courvoisier,” Mackenzie said as she finished her drink.

“For a minute, I really thought that I might want it!  Waiting that long for a meal…”  Mackenzie’s eyes met Will’s across the table, and his words trailed off.

“Are you in a rush tonight?” she asked, half joking. 

“No.”  The levity was gone from his tone.  “I can’t think of any place that I would rather be.”  He smiled at her, completely bound up in the spell she was weaving around him.  “Absolutely nowhere.”

“Really?”  Mackenzie’s breath caught in her chest. 

Will nodded and stared into the brown eyes of the woman for whom, against his better judgment, he had fallen.  Unaware of Will’s realization, Mackenzie stared back and tried to quell the tendril of awareness that sizzled in her every time he looked at her.  Her fate was sealed, and she knew it; she was head over heels in love with him.  For a moment they stayed lost in their thoughts and their silent conversation.  The arrival of the waitress brought them back to the present. 

“Here is y’all’s check.  I am real sorry that it took so long.  When the computers went down, it just caused such a ruckus!”  She laid the check on the table and continued, “Anyway, thanks so much for being such good sports!”

Will smiled patiently at the girl and paid the bill.  When he rose, he helped Mackenzie into her jacket and slid an arm around her waist.  She allowed her head to list against him as they walked, and he had to bite back a wide grin.  It was the first time that he had touched her so intimately, and she was genuinely surprised by how comfortable it felt.

They approached her car, and, much like their first encounter, Will reached for her keys and unlocked her door.

“Well, Miss McHale, I thank you for another enchanting evening.  It has truly been my pleasure.”

Mackenzie gave a half smile and stared into his eyes.  “You say such lovely things, Will.  It makes me feel special.”

“Well, you are special, Mac,” he said, feeling the endearment roll off his tongue with ease.  Her eyes widened.  “You don’t get told that very often.  Do you?”  She shook her head lightly.  “Well, you should be told it often.  You’re beautiful and intelligent.  You’re a charming dinner companion, and I thoroughly enjoy the time I get to spend in your company."

“Stop!” she said.  “No one speaks that way!”

“I do,” he replied, stepping nearer to her and closing the gap between her body and his.

“You do?” she whispered.  He nodded and looked down at her lips.  There was a slight pout to them, and all thoughts fled from his mind except a curiosity about how they would feel against his and how she would taste.  His face dropped even closer to hers.   “Are you going to kiss me?” she murmured.  He traced a finger across her bottom lip, coaxing the pout further.

“If you’d stop talking, then yes.  I’m going to kiss you.”  His lips brushed hers as he spoke. 

As she opened her mouth to tell him that she could indeed stop talking, he seized the opportunity presented to him, catching her bottom lip between his and kissing her into silence.  Mackenzie felt the kiss start on her lips and spread through her body.  Will’s fingers laced with Mackenzie’s as their mouths continued to discover each other.  The kiss deepened and minutes passed as they learned to taste of the other, giving and taking, reveling in the magic of a perfect first kiss.  

A fire engine roared by, sirens blaring, and brought them back to the reality of standing in a parking lot.  Mackenzie found herself breathless, and Will was breathing much harder than normal.  Her head leaned forward and rested on Will’s chest; she pulled in several deep breaths, trying to regain her bearings.  His arms looped around her, and he anchored her close against him.

“Wow,” he whispered into the top of her head, catching the faintest drift of the scent of her hair.  “Just wow.”  Mackenzie nodded, not fully prepared to speak, and sighed with contentment as Will’s fingers wound in her hair and lingered there.

                                                                        

**~**

 

Mackenzie wasn’t sure how long they stood like that, wrapped up in each other, lost in their memories.  She was catapulted back to awareness by the sound of a throat clearing behind Will.

“Ahem,” the sound came.  And then a little louder, “Kenz?”

Mackenzie stepped back from Will’s arms and looked past him to see Don standing just inside the doors.

“Sorry to interrupt, Boss.”

“Don’t worry about it, Don.  What’s going on?"

“The mayor is here, again.  He’s looking for an answer.  Jim has called twice.  So much for giving you the afternoon off.”

Mackenzie nodded.  “Tell Charlie that I’ll be with him in just a minute.”  Don nodded and stepped backward, quickly, out of the kitchen. 

“Charlie Skinner, mayor,” Will chuckled as he spoke and reached out to touch Mackenzie’s lip with his thumb.  Mackenzie looked up and looked into Will’s eyes. 

“I can’t do this, Will.  You made the decision then, and I’ve been living with it for seventeen years.  I wouldn’t survive you walking away again.”  She offered him a weak smile, shakily, and stepped around him.  “If you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to go and deal with small-town politics.”  The words were directed at the door to which Will’s back was facing.  He heard her leave and drug in a deep breath. 

“I’ve been living with my choices, too,” he said to the empty space.  “But I’m not afraid of the same things anymore.  I’m going to win you back, Mackenzie.”

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all! You couldn't have been kinder about the first chapter! I'm so glad!
> 
> Here's chapter 2. Chapters 3 and on get very Christmasy; so gear up!

**_ 2 _ **

Mackenzie ordered a drink from the waitress and checked her phone.  She was ten minutes early to lunch, which meant that Sloan could be counted on to arrive in fifteen or twenty minutes.  Mackenzie accepted the drink from the waitress with a murmured thanks.  She took a long sip and exhaled, letting the bubbles from the champagne tickle her nose.  She didn’t usually indulge like this at lunch on a workday, but today had special meaning.  A smile formed serenely on her lips.  This was going to be a celebratory luncheon, for more than one reason.  Eventually, Sloan strode into the room and took the chair across from Mackenzie.

“Hi, hi hi!”  Sloan’s hurried greeting exploded into the space.

 “How are things in the world of philanthropic fund management?”  Mackenzie nodded to the waitress, who moved to refill Mackenzie’s glass as well as pour a glass of champagne for Sloan.

“Oh, peachy.  We’re looking for new accounts again.  It’s a little stressful but exciting!”  Sloan had moved to New York shortly after receiving her graduate degree and developed a highly successful investment firm.  Once the firm was all but running itself, she had moved on to Chicago and then to Shanghai.  After an extremely prosperous stint overseas, she had packed up her life and moved it all to the small town that Mackenzie had spent years raving about, starting a boutique firm.  Sloan’s new motto was forward, slowly; the new company marched at a decidedly 9-5 beat.  She loved the small town life and that she could leave her office at five o’clock every night and not work again until morning.  It hadn’t taken long for Sloan to discover that Mackenzie’s trusted manager, Don, was exactly the man for whom she had been searching the world over.

 “You work a breakneck pace, Sloan!”

“Says the woman with two full-time jobs.”  Mackenzie snorted in response.  “Kenz, dear, dear Kenz.  I’m only working 40 hours a week.  I haven’t seen the office on a weekend yet.  I may work hard during banker’s hours, but stressful stops there.  It’s a peaceful existence, and I’m more than thrilled with it.”

 “You said you’re looking at taking on some new clients,” Mackenzie prompted.  Sloan nodded, and Mackenzie continued.  “Have you settled on an account yet?”

 “No, we haven’t.  We had some nibbles a few months ago, but we weren’t looking at that point.  Now, we’re assessing who might need us and where we will fit well.”  Mackenzie nodded.  “You’re very interested in the day to day operations of my latest endeavor.  You know I could talk about it all day, but your eyes are sparkling, and there is champagne on the table.  What’s going on?”   Mackenzie beamed excitedly at her friend and nodded. 

 “I think I might have the perfect client for you.”

“I’m open to suggestions.”  Sloan offered a tentative look at Mackenzie.

“Technically, you’d be working for the town, but, in actuality, we’d be working together.  We’ve always wanted to collaborate on a project, and here is the opportunity!”  She lifted her glass and gave a salute with it.

 “You run the town now?  Have Charlie Skinner and Leona Lansing finally turned over the reins to you?   After all these years?”  The sarcastic questions were met with a laugh from Mackenzie.

“Charlie has been at me for months to accept an ad hoc position charged with revitalizing the city’s image with the locals and getting the word out to surrounding communities that, basically, we’re still a small town with small-town charm.  I’m putting together a team, and I want you on fundraising and the financial management.  You’re the best at what you do, and I need you.  And as for Leona, she’s running the PR campaign.  She says it’s below her, but, really, what isn’t?”

 “You’re serious?” Sloan asked, wrapping her head around the idea.  She sipped her champagne and looked to Mackenzie for confirmation of the idea.

“Completely!”

 “It’s a bigger account than I was thinking, Kenz.”

Mackenzie took a deep breath.  She had been almost giddy with the excitement of a new challenge and the fun of working with Sloan.  She hadn’t stopped to think about the logistics of Sloan’ firm taking on the account.

“You’re right.  It is a big job.  I got caught up in the excitement of finally having an opportunity to partner professionally.  Of course, it’s a bigger account than the norm in this town.  There’s no pressure.”  She felt a little deflated, but not yet defeated.

“Well, it wouldn’t be _such_ a big account.  After the initial influx of work, it would be like any other.”  Mackenzie watched excitedly as the wheels turned in her best friend’s head.  Sloan continued, “I could hire an intern for a few months until we got a handle on it.”

“Does that mean you’ll do it?”  Mackenzie could barely conceal her eagerness.  Sloan nodded.

“I think I will!” Sloan said with a smile as a wide grin spread across Mackenzie’s face.  “This could be fun!”  She raised her glass; Mackenzie did the same.

“To a partnership that should have happened long ago!”

“To the future!”

Their glasses clinked against each other, and, satisfied with their new venture, the pair finished their champagne.  As the meal progressed, they fleshed out the details of the new project.  The check came, and the friends found themselves caught up on family, work and the news around the small town.

“Ice cream?” Mackenzie asked as they exited the restaurant.

“What kind of question is that?”  While Sloan sounded deadly serious, Mackenzie laughed.  It never took much to convince Sloan to indulge in ice cream.  The pair headed down the sidewalk to the ice cream shop, a few blocks away.  The fall wind toyed with their hair, betraying a changing of the seasons and rendering ice cream all but out of season.  

“What’s going on, Kenz?” Sloan asked as they picked a bench outside of the shop to enjoy their dessert.  “You want to talk about something.”

“Am I that transparent?” Mackenzie had the grace to look sheepish and tugged her coat a little tighter around her.

“You always have been.  It’s part of your charm.”  Sloan smiled encouragingly at her friend.

“Will’s here.”  At Mackenzie’s statement, Sloan looked around, alarmed. 

“Here?  Where?”

“Not here in this moment.  Here in town.  He’s moved here.  Permanently.”  Sloan appeared to choke on her ice cream.  “I saw him twice yesterday.  He came by the house, completely unexpectedly.  And then, he showed up at The Main to apologize for ambushing me at home.”  Mackenzie shook her head and laughed tightly.  “I don’t know why I’m so worked up about it.  I haven’t seen him in almost twenty years.”

“We both know why it’s got you upset.  Will walked out of your life years ago.  You never looked back, but you never really moved forward.”  Mackenzie’s eyes flashed fire. 

“Yes, I did!  I’ve built a life here.  The paper is thriving.  The Main turns a healthy profit, and I’ve got an incredible community of friends and family.”

“Kenz, your love life has lacked.  You and I both know it.”

“I’ve dated!”

“You’ve got a hell of a pattern.  You meet a nice guy.  You have dinner once a week for three or four months, perhaps a weekend cocktail or show once in a while.  Then, once it’s time to talk about something real, committed or long term, you end it.”

“That can’t be helped.  I’ve yet to find someone with whom I want to spend my life.  I haven’t lived in isolation.” 

Sloan rolled her eyes and took a large bite from her cone.

“What’s he doing here?”  Sloan spoke around her dessert.

“I don’t know, yet.”

“Be careful, Kenz.”  Sloan waited for Mackenzie’s eyes to meet hers, conveying the silent message before continuing, “Your ice cream is about to drip.”

Mackenzie’s tongue flicked out to catch the drop of ice cream, letting the cool creaminess coat her mouth.  The sensation, as it usually did, reminded her of her birthday.

 

**~**

 

Her eyes opened slowly against the sunlight streaming in through the open window.  The white plantation shutters that usually shut out the morning sun were thrown open, and a breeze stirred in the room.  Footsteps sounded in the hall, and she shut her eyes again, trying to regain the last strands of the pleasant dream that slipped away as her waking mind overtook her subconscious.

“Mac,” Will said from the doorway, “there’s just no hiding it.  You’re awake.”  She opened her eyes again and smiled.  He made his way into the bedroom and sat on the corner of the bed, holding a cup of coffee out to her.  “Any regrets in the light of day, birthday girl?” 

“It _is_ my birthday, isn’t it?”  She took the cup of coffee gratefully and kissed his fingertips as they grazed her lips.  “What could I have to regret?  Last night was perfect.”

Will pulled her close and enveloped her in his arms.  “I’m glad.”

“Do you have any?”  He offered her a questioning grunt.  “Regrets.”  Mackenzie prayed that his answer was the same as hers.

“None, whatsoever.  Except maybe that we didn’t make it through the whole movie.  I was really craving a western.”  There was teasing in his voice, and Mackenzie relaxed against him with a smile.

“Fine then.  Next time we sit down to watch a movie, we’ll sit in separate rooms.”

“I think I’d rather have you in my arms than the Duke,” he said, dropping a kiss on the top of her head, then her temple as she turned her head around to meet his lips.  “What,” he said against her parted lips, “would you like to do with your birthday?”

She offered her lips to him, knowing that he would kiss her without hesitation, and she turned fully to face him, settling into his lap as she turned.  After a moment, they were both breathless; she pulled back with a smile and allowed her hand to stray to the front of his pants.

“We should probably start with this,” she said, setting her coffee cup on the bedside table.  A low growl escaped him as she stroked him through his pants. 

“Yes, we probably should.”

His arms tightened around her, keeping her body tight against his as he lowered her onto her back.  Her head came to rest in the pillows, and Will immediately seized the opportunity to kiss her exposed neck.  Mackenzie shuddered and threaded her hands in Will’s hair, allowing herself to surrender to his mouth on her.  He braced his hands on either side of her shoulders and pushed up, levering his body over hers.  His knees came down astride her hips, and he sat back, taking in the woman beneath him.  She smiled, almost shyly at him, the newness of this type of intimacy between them still present in the forefront of her mind.  Will dusted several light kisses across her lips as he tugged her oversized t-shirt off and tossed it to the side.  He took another moment to savor the sight before him.

“I don’t know what to call that look in your eyes,” Mackenzie said, after a long moment.

“Don’t know that it’s got a name, hon.”  He offered an honest response punctuated with intense kisses, reveling in the feeling of her body restlessly shifting under his as she started to chase more pressure.

Will’s thumbs, with infinite tenderness, pressed circles into Mackenzie’s shoulders, providing a massage far more sensual than therapeutic.  His hands moved to the top of her chest, continuing to memorize the feel of her skin, the planes of her body.  Mackenzie felt her eyes flutter closed as she was borne away on the sensation of being worshipped by Will’s touch, and she took deep breaths, willing her impatience away in favor of this languid moment.  As his ever-moving hands trailed lower, to her breasts, Mackenzie exhaled, the sound a cross between a moan and a sigh.

“Mackenzie, look at me.”  His voice was gruff and low, more of a rumble than enunciated sounds.  Her eyes opened, and she gazed at him through heavy lids.  “I want you, Mac.”  _Forever._

“I’m right here.”  She tried to maintain a level tone, but her words were caught on a hiss of pleasure as his hands continued their work on her body.

Will’s mouth followed his hands, teasing her nipples into tight peaks while his hands continued their massage across her stomach; he slid back, straddling her knees now to be able to cover her hips with the strong touch of his fingers.  It seemed a mission now, something that he couldn’t stop even if he tried; he was committed to learning, over and over, every inch of her body, to finding the places that made her arch, moan, and writhe, to hearing her breathing quicken again as the tension inside her built.  He explored her thighs next, the tops, the undersides, teasing the curve of her backside before spreading her legs further apart and allowing himself access to the inside of her thighs.  Mackenzie hands were carded in Will’s hair, not making demands but needing as much contact as she could have with him.

As his hands trailed closer to Mackenzie’s core, her restless moving increased; she sensed an impending release and couldn’t help but chase it.  She snorted involuntarily as Will smoothed his hands down the tops of her thighs, back and forth, several times—be patient, his gestures said, but Mackenzie could see the evidence of his desire for her straining against the front of his pajama pants.

“Billy,” she began, voice deep.  His eyes snapped to hers, but his hands never stilled.  She smiled slowly, liking the feel of the endearing name on her tongue.  “Don’t tease me, Billy.”

“I’m not _teasing_ you, hon.”  Two fingers traced higher, found Mackenzie oh-so-ready for him, slid inside her slowly.  “I’m taking my time.”  He pulled his fingers back and thrust into her again, saving the sound of his name tumbling from her lips.  “I’m learning you.”  She was shaking now; the buildup from his slow exploration of her body had wound her tighter than she had realized possible.  Her eyes clamped shut of their own volition as he continued to drive into her with increasing power.  The sheets, clenched now in Mackenzie’s fists, pulled tight on either side of Will’s knees.  He brought his face close to Mac’s and whispered, “Don’t fight it, Mac.  Let it happen.”  His lips captured hers, seizing the opportunity of the slight pout of her lips to invade her mouth with his tongue.  And then, she was coming, hard, around his fingers, burying her face in the crook of his neck, breath coming in ragged gasps.  Will continued to stroke her, bringing her down and savoring the aftershocks that continued to quake deep inside her.  As the aftershocks subsided, Will withdrew from her, but her face remained tucked into his shoulder.  “You okay there, Mackenzie?”

“It’s different in the daylight,” she spoke, words muffled against him.

“What does that mean?”  He pulled back from her, removing the cover of his shoulder from her face.  She was flushed red and seemed unable to meet his gaze.  “What do you mean, Mackenzie?” he asked again, this time with insistence.  The words replayed in his mind, and he was struck, not for the first time, by the differences in their experiences.  Her age belied her experience, or rather her lack thereof, and while this certainly wasn’t her first time in bed with a man, she retained some of the insecurities that disappeared only in the growth of confidence that came with age.  He drug in a breath, willing the throbbing in his own groin to retreat long enough for him to manage the crisis of confidence that was playing out beneath him.  He grabbed her shoulders and shook her lightly, keeping a firm grip on her until her eyes met his.  “Mackenzie, do you want to stop?”  She shook her head lightly.  “You’re sure?”  An affirmative nod.  “Can you tell me what’s happening right now?”

“I’m not used to… I’ve never… that was…”  She fought to put forth a coherent statement, but couldn’t seem to find the vocabulary for which she was reaching.

“Hon, are we talking about an orgasm right now?”  Another affirmative nod.  Will inhaled, questioning for a brief moment, the wisdom of dating someone Mackenzie’s age.  Her hand toyed absently with the back of his hair, a gesture that was not inherently sensual but that immediately reminded him of his body’s reaction to her and banished his doubts about her.  “And you’ve not…”  His mind raced to the night before, questioning his performance and her reaction to him.

“I have!”  Mackenzie couldn’t keep the vehemence from her tone.  “Just not… on someone’s hand.”  She fought to keep her blush down.  If Will could have this conversation without any trace of embarrassment, then she could too.

“Well, hon, I think we’ll probably have plenty of firsts together.  But you’ve got to tell me if you’re uncomfortable, and you’ll have to trust me a little.”  His arm was starting to shake, the awkward angle and supporting all of his weight taking its toll on the muscles.  Biting back a slight sigh, Will pulled back from Mackenzie and rolled onto his side, tucking Mac in alongside him.  “We’re okay, Mac.”

Mackenzie allowed herself to be cradled against Will, mind turning feverishly, for a few moments.  As her thoughts began to calm, as Will’s words sank into her consciousness, she became aware of Will, still hard, against her backside.  A wave of love washed over her—much to her chagrin _(It’s much too early for that word, for that feeling)_ —as she realized that he wasn’t working for his own release; he was totally focused on making sure she was comfortable with him, with their encounter.  For a moment, she marveled that he was still ready, still wanting her after she had broken the moment.  Instinctively, she shifted back against him, feeling him press more fully into her backside; her mind instantly changed tracks from her previous anxiety to wanting him again. 

“Will?”  She pressed back against him, intention in the movement.  Whether he consciously knew what she was after, he twitched reflexively against her, giving her the answer she needed.  Mackenzie turned in his arms and offered her lips to him.

“Mac?” he growled when her lips left his and moved to his neck.

“We’re okay, Billy,” she said, meeting his gaze without a moment’s doubt.  She reached for his hips and began to work the flannel pajama pants down Will’s body; she made a little progress, but was unable to complete the task.  “But, a little help here would be appreciated,” she offered, biting her lip in frustration.  Will laughed aloud and rolled onto his back, lifting his hips as he did to allow Mackenzie to remove his pants.  Her knuckles grazed him, drawing a low hiss from Will.  Her eyebrow quirked, and she repeated the action.

“Who’s teasing who now, Mac?”

“Sorry,” she offered with a smile, nudging him onto his back and following him over.

Without further preamble, Mackenzie slid down on him, taking him fully inside her, biting her lip in bliss.  Will’s hands balled into fists; he used all of his self-control not to grasp her hips and anchor her to him.  _Let her set her own pace.  Let her be in the driver’s seat._

Mackenzie leaned forward, offering her lips to Will, and her eyes went wide at the sensation.  She rolled her hips forward and back again, finding a rhythm that was quickly driving Will to the edge of his control.  He could feel her tightening around him, could feel her drawing him deeper into herself.  And then, she was coming around him, falling forward onto his chest.

Will wrapped his arms around her, anchoring their bodies together, and rolled her onto her back.  He thrust into her twice and felt her tightening around him again.  He bit back a smile as he reached between them and touched Mackenzie.  She shuddered his name and arched into the touch.  Will continued to drive into her, finally allowing himself to crash over the edge of control when he felt Mackenzie come undone around him again.  His face dropped onto her chest as he regained control of his breathing, and he felt her heart pounding beneath his ear.

“Wow,” she murmured.

“Mmhmm,” came the assent.

“Is it bad manners if I fall asleep for a minute?”  She kissed the side of his head that was nearest her mouth.

“Is it bad manners if I follow you?”  He rolled off of her and tucked her in alongside him, closing his eyes and sighing with satisfaction. 

 

When Mackenzie opened her eyes, she was aware that the sun was much higher in the sky and also that she was ravenously hungry.  The quiet snores of the man beside her brought a smile to her face, and she turned to press a gentle kiss to his temple.

“Billy,” she said quietly.  He stirred, and she continued, “Would you like to wake up?”  He stirred again, opening his eyes briefly.  She kissed him again, this time pressing her lips to his.  “I’m famished.  Do you want to wake up and eat with me?”

She kissed him again, with more insistence this time.  Will’s hand caught in her hair and gently tugged her lips back from his.

“You’d better stop kissing me like that if you want to get out of this bed, Mac.  A man can only take so much.”  His voice was gruff with sleep and reawakened passion.  Mackenzie laughed lightly and shrugged free of his hand before dropping a feather light kiss on his lips.

“I’m going to have a quick shower and then make something for us to eat.”  She was already heading for the bathroom as she spoke.  “I’m not ready for the real world, yet.”

“Whatever you say, hon.  I’ll be right here.”  He yawned around the words, closed his eyes, allocating himself an extra ten minutes to sleep while Mac showered. 

“Or you could join me in here,” she said, popping her head back through the bathroom door. 

Will was out of bed before she was fully finished speaking.  As Mackenzie stepped under the spray of the shower, and Will’s hands settled on her shoulders, she couldn’t contain the happy laugh that bubbled up from a place of genuine happiness.

“Happy birthday, Mackenzie,” he breathed the words softly against her ear.

**~**

 

Mackenzie was jolted back to the present moment by the cold shock of a drop of ice cream hitting her fingers.  Sloan was engrossed reading an email on her phone, but she smiled when she saw Mackenzie start back to reality and quickly clean the drip from her finger.

“Back in the real world, Kenz?”

“Yes, sorry.  Was one of us saying something important?”  Mackenzie smiled apologetically at her friend and willed her consciousness to remain in their conversation.  Sloan opened her mouth to respond and then shut it with a snap.  Her eyes widened, and she nudged Mackenzie with the toe of her shoe.  “Are you alright?”  Sloan said nothing, cutting her eyes over Mackenzie’s shoulder and inclining her head.  “Sloan, what in the world are you doing?”

“She’s trying to warn you that I’m behind you, Mac.”  Will’s voice cascaded over Mackenzie’s senses, and tendrils of awareness unfurled inside her.  “Hello Sloan!  It’s been a while.”

“Will.”  Sloan narrowed her eyes slightly at him.

“Oh come on, Sloan.  You’re happy to see me,” Will ribbed her playfully.

“Somehow, I don’t know that it matters whether or not I _am_ happy to see you, William.”  Sloan stood and kissed Mackenzie on the cheek.  “Kenz, let’s set something up for later in the week to discuss the logistics of your plan.  I’d better get back to the office.”  She cut a sharp look at Will before crossing the street and heading toward her office.

Mackenzie watched her retreating back, aware that she was, once again, alone with Will.  _What is he_ doing _here?_ Sloan reached her office and turned to wave, just as Mackenzie felt Will shift position.  His head dipped low in front of her, tongue darting out to catch a drop of ice cream just before it hit Mackenzie’s fingers.  His tongue proceeded on its path to lick the whole scoop.  She watched, mesmerized by him.

“Butter pecan,” he said, eyes boring into Mackenzie. 

“Close,” Mackenzie said, sliding over on the bench to make a space for him to sit next to her.  “Bourbon pecan.”

“It’s nice to know that your tastes haven’t changed drastically in the last twenty years.”  He joined her on the bench, sitting a little closer to her than she had intended.  “Seventeen, if we’re being specific.”

“Thank you.”  Her tone was light.  “I’d prefer not to be charged for the extra three years.”  His proximity to her jolted her nerves, just like it always had.  “And as for my tastes, I’m still me, Will.  Older, but still me.”

“I’ve always loved you for who you are, Mac.”  Will spoke quietly, eyes focused away from her, but he felt her go stiff next to him.  “I’ve never stopped loving you.”  Mackenzie shot to her feet and turned to face Will, head on. 

“That’s incredibly unfair.  For 17 years, I’ve heard nothing from you.  Occasionally, I see a news clipping about your great successes, but not a word from you.  Not an email, not a card, not a phone call.  Not even a smoke signal or a carrier pigeon!”  She paused, collecting herself and bringing her tone to a less conspicuous level.  “And now you’re on a bench, in my town, telling me that you’ve never stopped loving me?  I don’t know what great life event has prompted you to come here now, but what, Will, what on earth are we doing here?”

“I asked you that same question, a long time ago,” he said, catapulted into the recesses of his own memories by her choice of words.  “Do you remember?”

Mackenzie nodded.  Of course she remembered; she remembered all of it.  The passion from her outburst slid backward as the memories slipped, unbidden, into the forefront of her consciousness.

 

**~**  

 

Mackenzie sipped slowly from her glass of wine, savoring the flavor and soaking in the moment.  Dinner had been an experience, but everything with Will seemed to evolve into something memorable, even an evening as mundane as cooking together.  Since their first dinner seven months ago, it was a rare day that passed without Will and Mackenzie being together, and since Mac’s birthday, four months ago, they had spent most every night together.  Some evenings they were able to steal away for dinners that went on for hours and felt as though they only lasted moments; some nights allowed only for a fleeting drink in whatever convenient spot their lives allowed, but their nights ended together.  Their passion for each other grew with each passing day, surprising them both with its ferocity.  It was their mornings, though, that Mackenzie loved the most.  Bites of toast and mugs of hot coffee scarfed down in record time as they discussed overnight headlines and tried to get out of the house in some sort of time for work.  Mackenzie bared her soul to him without fear of judgement; Will allowed her into him in ways that surprised him every day.  He found himself searching for case law that she would find interesting to share over dinners, found that he was living for the challenge of her discourse with him.  The difference in their ages and experiences provided two unique and sometimes opposing perspectives.  It was the endless pursuance of understanding her that Will savored.

“Mackenzie,” he began as they began to clear the dishes from their dinner, “what are we doing here?”  His words brought Mackenzie up short. 

“Dishes, Will.  We’re doing dishes.”  She was fighting for time, for the moment she needed to gather herself for the impending war, and they both knew it.  The topic had been looming, specter-like for months, and while their conversation usually flowed as easy as the comfortable silences, tonight felt different.  Mackenzie continued to load the dishwasher while she found her words.  “Billy, you’ve heard me say it a thousand times.  I love you.  I want to be with you.  What exactly are you asking?”

“You’re 25.  And I’m 42.  And that has to mean something…”  Mackenzie cut him off.

“Yes.  It means that you were born before me.”  She held her hands up and gave him her best ‘who cares’ look.

“I won’t do it to you, Mackenzie.  I won’t allow you to spend your youth on someone who won’t be there for your old age.”

“You won’t _allow_?  What are you, my father?”

“I’m old enough to be.” 

Mackenzie felt as if someone had sucked all the air out of her lungs. 

“I make my own decisions about my future, Billy.”  She took a deep breath.  “If I want to spend the rest of my life with you, and you feel the same way, why should anything stop us?”

“Because you won’t be spending the rest of your life with me.  You would spend the rest of my life with me.  I won’t watch you grow old before your time.”

“You don’t think we’ll keep each other young?”  She flipped the dishtowel onto the counter and faced Will.

“I know you, Mac,” he said, catching her chin in his palm and letting his thumb caress her cheek.  “You give and give and put everyone first but yourself.  You would limit yourself based on my limitations.”  He kissed her fiercely, possessively.  “I won’t do it to you.”

Mackenzie’s voice was shaky, and she could feel the tears in her eyes threatening to spill over.  She inhaled deeply and found that it didn’t help as much as the first had in steadying her.

“Give it to me straight, Will.”  Will stepped closer and looped his arms around Mac’s waist.

“I want to be with you.” He tightened his grip and pulled her tight against him.  He spoke into the top of her head, “I want you to be the mother of my children.  I want you for my own for the rest of my life.  But that isn’t fair to you.”

He anchored his hand in her hair and crushed her mouth to his.  He tasted the salt of her tears on her lips and held her as close as possible, willing himself to treasure each moment with her.  Mackenzie’s tears started in earnest as soon as she was wrapped in Will’s arms, and she couldn’t stop them.  She pulled away from his kiss and buried her face in his chest.

“It’s not fair,” she whispered into his shirt, “for you to make that decision for me.  I know what I want from my life.  It’s you.”

Will ran his fingers through her hair while she cried.  Eventually, she stepped out of his embrace as looked, just looked at him.

“What are you thinking, Mac?” he asked, reaching for her to draw her back to him.  Something in him needed her physically close in this moment.   He kissed her lightly, the familiar motion carrying its own comfort for both of them.  “It’s going to be fine.”

“It’s not fine.  I can’t tell if you’re trying to propose to me or break up with me!”

“Hon,” he said, finally breaking contact with her.  “We can’t get married.”  He raked his hands through his hair.  “Even if I was ten years younger, I’m not the marrying kind, but I don’t know if I’m strong enough to leave you.”  _Even though it is the honorable thing to do._ When he met her eyes, and all he could see was love and desperate fear.“I don’t know how to do this, Mac.”

“Are you calling this off, Will?” 

He stared at her, trying to muster the strength to walk away from her.  _The woman you love.  That’s what you’re doing here.  You’re walking away from the woman who stirs your soul._   Her heart was breaking right in front of him; he could see it happening.  His own insides churned painfully.

“I can’t,” he whispered, almost imperceptibly shaking his head.

Mackenzie choked out a laugh on the breath of a sob, raised her lips to his and poured all of her emotion into the kiss.  It would be enough, for now.

 

**~**

 

“I don’t… I’m not at all certain about what you’re doing here, Will.  You’ve still not given me any insight.”  Will chuckled humorlessly and stood, gently grasping the tops of her arms.

“It’s funny, Mac, isn’t it?”  She shrugged, looking for clarification, lost in his thread.  “That even then you had wisdom that I’ve only come to this many years later?”

“Get there, Billy,” she spoke with resignation, utter weariness seeping in around her. 

“I’m here for you, Mac.  To make you mine again.”  He nodded once, with finality.  “That’s what I’m doing here.”  He held her gaze as he spoke, trying to impart his sincerity with both his words and his expression.  Mackenzie’s lips parted, and tears shone in her eyes, but she was completely unreadable to him.  “Say something,” he whispered, eyes not leaving hers for even a breath.  Her eyes flitted over his shoulder back to his eyes and then over his shoulder, and he could sense that the moment was slipping away from him.

“Mackenzie McHale!”  Leona Lansing’s voice crashed into Will’s world, bearing Mackenzie’s focus away on a tide of Chanel No. 5 and a faint trace of marijuana.  “I hear that we’re going to be working together on this scheme of Charlie’s to bring more business into our little hamlet.”

“Leona,” Mackenzie smiled at her and took a step out of Will’s grasp.  “It seems so.  Sloan Sabbith seems keen to get on board, as well.”

“Good, good.”  Leona was distracted by Will whose back was no longer to her.  “William Duncan McAvoy,” she announced his name with a flourish.  “What the hell are you doing here?”

“That’s the $64,000 question, I’m told.”  He pressed a light kiss to the older woman’s cheek.  Mackenzie’s phone rang, and she answered it, stepping away.  “Bought a place up here.  I’ve relocated.”

“I see.”  Leona cut her eyes at him.  “Are you retired, or do you have some plan to contribute to society while you’re here?”

Before Will could work up a suitably snarky retort, Mackenzie stepped back into the conversation.

“I’m sorry, I’ve got to go.  There’s a story, and Jim needs…”  She trailed off as her phone went off again.  “Leona, I’ll see you at the city council meeting next week.  Will—”  She shrugged at him, backing away as she did so.

“Mackenize!” he called after her.  She turned and waved, fully engrossed in the call she had taken.  She stopped, though, after taking in the look on his face, and the arm that had been holding the phone to her ear dropped to her side.  For a moment, Will thought she was would run right back to him and fall into his arms.

“Everything’s going to be okay.”  She smiled at him.  “I’ll call you.”  And then she was gone, chasing whatever lead Jim had called in to her.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know how much I love hearing from you!
> 
> I hope you enjoyed, and I promise to get chapter 3 up sooner rather than later!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys--
> 
> I know Christmas is technically over, but I definitely haven't taken my tree down, and so, I'm still celebrating.
> 
> Apologies for the delay. I didn't want to post this chapter on its own because it does leave a little bit of a cliffhanger, which didn't feel festive at all.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

**_ 3 _ **

 The city council meeting had started less than twenty minutes ago, and already Mackenzie already regretted her decision to attend.  Will was seated just across the meeting hall from her, and every time she snuck a look his direction, she found his eyes watching her.  She had successfully avoided him for almost a week, since the day he had revealed to her his purpose for moving to her town; she felt that she had fully processed the encounter, but she hadn’t been able to face Will, as yet.  Now, Mackenzie’s concentration was suffering badly.  _Will being in the immediate vicinity has always done this to me._

“Mackenzie, did you hear the question?”  Mackenzie came alert at the sound of her name.

“No, Mr. Mayor, I’m sorry.”  Her voice was calm, and she sounded collected, a stark contradiction to the state of her nerves.

“Mrs. Lansing was asking if you would be willing to serve in the expanded capacity she was describing,” Charlie Skinner spoke directly into the microphone, aiming his words at Mackenzie.  With a fleeting glance at Will, who was grinning widely, she shrugged her shoulders and responded to the mayor.

“Charlie, I wasn’t entirely focused.  I’m sorry,” she apologized again and offered the mayor a contrite smile.  “Could you catch me up, please?”  There were small snickers from around the room, and Mackenzie turned to face her community with a smile and another small shrug.  She was met with smiles all around.

“Leona was asking if you would be willing to expand your role from your current duties of on the revitalization board to chairing the Better Business Board while the bureau searches for a new director.  Very temporarily.”

“Temporary?  Hasn’t the director role been open for quite a while?” Mackenzie asked, feeling herself getting sucked deeper into her volunteer role.  “In fact, wasn’t the Better Business Board established because the Better Business Bureau has been without a director for so long?”  She raised an eyebrow and split a look between Charlie and Leona.  Moments like this were, to Mackenzie, both the blessing and the curse of small towns.

“Well, um, yes.”  Charlie looked mildly put out at Mackenzie’s statement.  “It has been a vacant position for quite some time.  However, the hiring committee promises that they have narrowed down the resumes and will be conducting interviews in the near future.”

Mackenzie shook her head lightly, knowing that her decision was really a foregone conclusion.  Her love of her town always trumped her love of having a weekend off. 

“Alright, Leona,” she addressed the older woman on the dais directly, “I’ll take on the Board, just until the Bureau can hire someone for the role.”  From her seat behind the commissioner’s bench, Leona smiled approvingly.  “However, I’ll need full autonomy to add members to the board and reassign those whose goals may be self-serving or divergent from the best interests of the town.”  She stood, waiting for the permission to handle the board as she saw fit.

The commissioners exchanged silent looks and came to a consensus.

“Alright, Mackenzie,” Charlie again addressed Mackenzie to the entire assembly.  “You’ve got carte blanche.”  Mackenzie nodded and took her seat.  “Next on the agenda, I would like to introduce Mr. Will McAvoy.  He is new to town, but he’s an old friend of many of us in the community.  His renowned legal acumen and proven track record of success in his previous endeavors make him an excellent addition to our town.  We are excited to welcome him and get him involved in our town.”

Mackenzie blanched and was unsure of where to look.  Certainly not at Will, whose eyes she could feel boring into her; certainly not at the mayor—did he know to what he was a party?  She studied the back of the head of the man in front of her intently until she heard Will’s voice.  Without her permission, her head snapped toward the sound of his voice.

“Thanks, Charlie.  I know I’m new, but this place already feels a lot like home.”  His eyes were locked with Mac’s now, though his words were directed to the room.  “I’d like to offer services to Ms. McHale’s Better Business Board.”  There was a smattering of applause around the room, and Will offered a good-natured shrug.  “It seems like a place where I might make a difference."

Mackenzie stared, open-mouthed at Will and desperately searched for a graceful way to decline his help.  Before she could formulate her response, Charlie spoke.

“That would be most excellent.  Really great, Will.  I’m certain Mackenzie—Ms. McHale would be appreciative of your expertise and assistance.”  The mayor clapped briefly, and those in attendance joined in, wholeheartedly this time.

Mackenzie sat down hard in her chair, blindsided.  _No!  I certainly would not appreciate anything from him._ Will sat, internally claiming the small victory.  If he could win his way into the heart of her community, it would be that much easier to win his way back into her heart.  He silently congratulated himself on seizing the opportunity that had presented itself.

The meeting continued around them, Will growing in smug satisfaction, Mackenzie tuning out everything around her.  She folded her hands carefully in her lap and kept her eyes lowered until Charlie gaveled out the meeting.  Mackenzie rose, pulled on her coat, and turned, only to find Will waiting a few feet from her.

“Wipe that shit-eating grin off your face, McAvoy,” Mackenzie said, for his ears only.  “You look ridiculous.”

“I look,” he spoke slowly, honey dripping from his words, “as though I have effectively accomplished exactly what I intended to this evening.”  He paused, seemingly for effect, “Time with you, while serving my community.  That’s a two for one deal, hon.”  Mackenzie sighed and rolled her eyes at him, with mild consternation and a slight touch of amusement.  She hated how quickly he could disarm her, how effectively he diffused her aggravation.  She fought the smile that played around her lips but wasn’t able to keep her eyes from crinkling around the edges with ill-concealed mirth.  “How about some dinner, Mac?  We can discuss all the ways we can help each other now that we’re on the same team.”

“Dinner?” she asked, eyes-wide.  “In a restaurant?”

“You do still remember, Mac,” he said, voice gruff with emotion and a long-remembered past.  He offered his arm to Mackenzie hesitantly, and she stared at it for a long moment before gently laying her hand on his arm and allowing herself to be led out of the meeting hall.

 

~

 

Will looked up from his now empty plate into the shining eyes of his still-new lover.  The light from the candle on the table reflected in her eyes, adding to the amused twinkle that already sparkled there.  He knew immediately the source of her amusement.  Since the couple had first allowed themselves to find satisfaction in each other’s arms over a stolen birthday weekend, six weeks earlier, and their subsequent return to the daily grind of work, familial and social obligations, the little time that they had together had been spent almost exclusively in bed.  That morning, though, Mackenzie had insisted that they leave the bed and the house for a meal.

“We need to speak, to talk using words other than 'yes' 'more' and 'now'!” she had emphatically stated earlier in the day while dressing for work.  “So, tonight, we are going out to dinner.  We're leaving the house and eating a real meal, fully clothed.  In a restaurant.  With conversation."  She had paused for a moment after the declaration.  "With people!" she had added with conviction.

"People?” Will had asked over his shoulder, straightening his tie in the mirror.  "Who would you like me to invite, hon?"

"No!  I mean people around us.  We've completely stopped eating dinner.  In fact, the only time we leave your house or mine is for work.  We have to do more than have sex!"

At this, Mackenzie had thrown up her hands, clearly frustrated by her inability to express what she really meant.  Will had smiled through his disagreement and draped an arm around Mac's shoulder.  He kissed her cheek and tucked her in next to him.

“Mackenzie, if you want to go out for dinner, we will go out for dinner.  If you want to never leave that bed again, we will never, never leave the bed again.  I’m here with you because I want to be with you, in or out of bed.” 

And so, he had made reservations at their favorite restaurant.  When the waiter had come for a drink order, Will had been ready with his dinner order.  Mackenzie had looked up in surprise but quickly ordered her dinner as well.  Fifteen minutes later, Will’s plate was empty.

“Well, Billy, I guess you were hungry,” Mackenzie said, a smile in her voice. Will sensed her amusement at his speed eating.

“I guess I was,” he replied, stealing a glance at the sheer, beige blouse that had come one button more undone since dinner had begun.  He suppressed a shiver when he felt a silk-stocking clad toe slide across his foot and trail up his calf. 

“Maybe we should have stayed in for dinner.  I’m having a hard time concentrating on my food.”  Mackenzie smiled at Will through half closed eyes.  She took a deep, calming breath and turned her attention back to her plate.

“What if we took our food to-go?” Will asked, more secure in the knowledge that Mackenzie was having the same problem he was:  wanting the other so badly that it was impossible to enjoy a meal.

At the same time that she tossed a hand up to signal their waiter, she said, “What food, Will?  You have an empty plate-”

Before she could continue, Will cut her off with a sheepish grin and said, “I was hoping that the quicker we finished dinner, the quicker we could get out of here, and…”  He let the sentence dangle and wiggled an eyebrow at her.  Mackenzie laughed.  “Could we please take this to go?”  Will addressed the waiter now standing before them who turned and moved away for a box.

“You realize we’re a walking cliché?”

“Downright trite,” he agreed.  Mackenzie laughed again.

“Corny, cheesy, hackneyed!”  

“It’s- it’s- oh shit, let’s just go!”  He tossed some cash onto the table and helped Mackenzie to her feet.  She was shaking with laughter. 

“Overly mawkish!” she gasped through her giggles as Will led her out of the restaurant.

“Well,” Will said, as Mackenzie’s laughter finally died down, and he guided her to the car, “do you feel like we used words tonight?  Some others than more and yes?”  He chuckled at his own words.

“Mmmhmm,” Mackenzie pressed through her lips in an effort to recover from her fit of giggles.

They reached the car, and Will reached around Mackenzie to open her car door.  Trapped between the car door and Will, she did not even try to fight the urge that swept over her.  She threw her arms around his neck and pressed her lips to his.  The kiss began sweet and spontaneous, but within moments, it exploded into something deep and full of longing.  Her lips parted beneath his, begging for the intrusion of his tongue.  Will dropped the box of her food that he had been carrying and pinned Mackenzie’s by her side, against the car.  His tongue toyed with her lips, teasing a pout from them, while his free hand found the buttons of her blouse and undid them, one by one, revealing the thin, ivory camisole underneath.  Tearing his lips from hers, Will whispered harshly against Mackenzie’s neck.

“I’ve wanted to do this all day.”

A breathless moan escaped her lips as Will kissed her neck and dropped one hand to her hip, anchoring her to the car.  Mackenzie tangled her fingers in Will’s hair, and she gave herself up to Will’s mouth on her.  His lips travelled from her neck to her collarbone.  At the moment that Mackenzie felt his teeth on the upper seam of her camisole, the couple parked next to them approached their car.  Torn immediately from her upward sensual climb, Mackenzie pulled Will’s head from her chest to her mouth.  A soft, almost chaste kiss on his lips brought him back to the present moment.

“Will,” she whispered, “let’s get out of here.  This isn’t the place.”  She kissed him again, letting her lips linger on his for a moment before pushing against him with both hands.  “Please, get in the car before I lose control of myself again.”  Will opened her car door, allowing Mackenzie just enough space to squeeze between him and the car, forcing her to brush against his hardness, straining from the inside of his slacks.  Mackenzie whimpered quietly, desperate in her need for him.  She rested her head against the cool leather of the car and waited for Will to join her inside the vehicle.  Moments later, Will was seated in the driver’s seat and had started the motor.

“Dinner might have been pushing it,” Mackenzie said, breathless from their encounter.  “Maybe we should try smaller outings until this wears off.”

“Mac, I don’t think I’m going to not want you like this.  If that means we never eat another meal in public, then so be it.  I don’t need a restaurant chef’s food to make me happy.  I like watching you cook for me in your apron- just your apron.”  He winked at her, and turned onto the highway.  Mackenzie pressed the backs of her hands to her flushed cheeks in an effort to cool the warmth that had settled in them.  She took a steadying breath and focused on returning her pulse to normal.  “You okay, Mac?”  Mackenzie smiled and turned her head to reassure Will. 

“I’m fine—I don’t know what happened to me.  I just lost control of myself.”

“That wasn’t one-sided, Mackenzie.  I would have taken you in that parking lot if you hadn’t stopped us.”

“If those people would have left their meal five minutes later, who knows what kind of show they would have had.”  Mackenzie sighed.  “You’re turning me into an exhibitionist.”

“Isn’t that what being together is all about?  Trying new things?  Being with each other physically and emotionally?” Will offered her a small smile.  His Mackenzie had been a little unsure when they met.  The passion that they sparked in each other was new for her, and she was still learning control.  Will was pulled from his thoughts by Mackenzie’s hand, gently caressing the bulge pressed uncomfortably into the zipper of his slacks.  “Wha-?”

“I thought this is what _being together_ was all about, Will,” Mackenzie said, with a doe-eyed expression.  Her feigned innocence both amused Will and, at the same time, made his desire for her more prominent.

“Knock it off, Mackenzie.  I’m having enough trouble getting us home without you making it worse.”

“But all I can think about is your mouth on me, your teeth scraping my skin, you being deep inside me—me writhing beneath you.”

Will glanced across the car as he exited the thoroughfare and turned onto the main road of her neighborhood.  Mackenzie had slid one shoe off and was working on the second.  The blouse that Will had unbuttoned was tossed haphazardly onto the back seat.

“Mackenzie, please.  We’re almost home.”  She was teasing him on purpose, making him want her so badly that his focus wasn’t fully on the road, and his tone of voice reminded her of once when she had heard him flustered on a conference call with what was supposed to be an expert witness (but had ended up being from a crazy militia)—‘the people who build ladders’ he had said with a cracking voice.

“I’m just making it easier for when we get there.  I’m just trying to be helpful.”  There was a slight pout in her voice, one that Will had come to know well.  Mackenzie wanted what she wanted when she wanted it. 

Will maneuvered the car into Mackenzie’s garage and switched off the ignition.  With smooth practice, he exited the car and moved to open her door.  Her skirt had ridden up during the drive, and he could see the lacy tops of her thigh-high stockings.  He turned her body and pushed her backwards so that her feet draped his shoulders.  Mackenzie squeaked in surprise, but his mouth quickly found the lace at the top of her thigh, and he used his teeth to grip it.  Her surprise was replaced with a shudder of anticipation when Will slid his fingers into the lace and began to work the stocking down her leg, trailing it with his tongue.  He did the same with the other leg, pausing to drop kisses along the leg as it came into view from beneath the stocking. 

Mackenzie’s legs dropped from his shoulders, and she wrapped them around his waist.  Reaching into the car, Will anchored his hand in Mackenzie’s hair and brought her mouth to his, working to ease his need to feel her lips against his.  Mackenzie’s lips melted into Will’s, and she savored the feel of the almost gentle passion, lingering in the moment before allowing herself to be swept into the tidal current of their building desire for each other.  Her feet dropped the floor as she sought a better angle, looked for more contact between her body and his, but the cool of the floor on her warm feet seemed to bring her back to the real world for just a moment.

“Will, take me to bed.”  The words were hard to get out; Will’s hands were all over her body, touching every inch, remembering what he already committed to memory.  “Please, not in the garage, again,” she croaked as his mouth found her nipple through the camisole and bra.  Will’s head momentarily lifted, and a cocky smile lit his face.

“You sure, Mac?”  He slid the straps of her camisole off her shoulders and pushed it down to her waist.  His mouth found her again, and he her with his tongue.  Mackenzie squirmed, desperate for more than his mouth over her bra.  “Tell me what you want, Mac.  Just say the words.”  She was breathless; his touch had taken her voice, and he taunted her with that knowledge.

“Take—me,” Mackenzie interrupted herself with a deep, guttural moan.  “Mmmmhh- inside,” she finished in a harsh whisper.

At this, Will moved his mouth to Mackenzie’s neck and left a trail of kisses there.  He swept her off of her feet and into his arms, still kissing her, and silently sent up a prayer of thanksgiving that she was slight enough to maneuver like this.

“Anywhere you want.  Anywhere at all.”

The short walk from the garage to the bedroom seemed almost interminable.  With each step, Mackenzie lost herself more and more to Will’s mouth on hers.  Each second that passed left Will harder and more restrained within his pants.  Every footfall was a battle—a  battle that Will was determined to win, but a fight nonetheless.  He nudged the door to the bedroom open with his toe, and then deposited Mackenzie on the bed with very little ceremony.  His belt and pants were off in one motion.  Mackenzie watched as Will shed the last of his clothing, acutely aware of how hard he was, and she ached from head to toe for him.  It was like this every time, she marveled, breathless anticipation, hunger, desperate need.  She lay sprawled on the bed where he had left her, staring and wanting.  And waiting.

“Are you ever going to join me?” she asked, more to the lower half of him than to his face.

“Look at me, Mackenzie.”  He waited for her eyes to travel, languidly, up his body and to meet his eyes.  “That’s right, look at me.  I love you, Mackenzie.  I want you more than anything that I’ve wanted before or could ever imagine wanting again. ”  His voice was thick with emotion and desire. 

Mackenzie’s gaze broke with his only for a slow blink, and she nodded, unable to form words.  Will nodded and covered Mackenzie with his body, letting her take most of his weight.  He entered her slowly, without further preamble, reveling in how ready her body was for his.  She gave herself over to the sensations he was producing in her, allowing him to sweep his declaration from her mind.

Will made love to Mackenzie with excruciating thoroughness, demanding from her everything that she could give, pouring all that he had into the endeavor.  He drove her upward, again and again, pulling her back from release at the crest of each hill.  She clung to him meeting him in the giving and the taking, growing more and more feverish with each passing moment.   

“Billy,” she began to beg, “please...” she fought to string together coherent thoughts.  “It’s too much.”      

For a hairsbreadth of a moment, he thought about dragging her deeper into the depths, but the look on her face was sheer desperation.  Mackenzie was completely in his thrall, could go no further without him.   “Remember this, Mac.  Remember us,” he whispered, not sure if she could hear him, as he reached between them and gave Mackenzie the lightest of touches, all she needed to be completely undone.  She sobbed through her release, utterly spent.  With a roar like a freight train, Will followed Mackenzie into a fierce climax.

A long time later, Mackenzie was relatively certain that Will was asleep.  Her limbs were tangled with his; his face rested on her shoulder.      

“I love you, too,” she whispered into the darkness.  There was no need to wake him.  He knew, even if she hadn’t voiced it.

 

 

**_~_ **

 

Mackenzie felt her cheeks flush as she met Will’s eyes.  Offering her a knowing smile, he shrugged and rubbed the back of his neck.

“We had some good times, Mac.”  She nodded, and he reached to open the passenger door of his car for her.  “Why don’t we take one car?  I can bring you back after dinner.”

Mackenzie smiled at him before closing the car door.

“It’s a small town, Bi—Will.  Why don’t we walk?”  She allowed her arm to loop through his again and nodded in the direction of several restaurants.  “Now, seriously, why did you volunteer to get mired down in the silliness of small-town politics?”

“I’m here for the long haul, Mackenzie.”  His tone was earnest and direct.  “I plan to be an active member of the community that seems to see the same kind of value in you that I see.”  Mackenzie bit back a snappy ‘this is a business dinner, and please don’t make it personal’.  Will seemed genuine in his desire to immerse himself in the town.  “And look, Mac, if, at the end of the day, you decide that you really can’t forgive me, that you’re not willing to let me back into your life, won’t it be good that I’ve got things to keep me busy?”

Will flinched a little at his own words; he had been going for something bordering nonchalance but had ended up sounding broken.  He heard Mackenzie’s breath catch in her chest, felt her lose part of a step alongside him.

“Will,” she tried before he cut her off.

“We don’t have to talk about it right now.  Let’s just have dinner and figure out how to salvage what seems to be a floundering local business board.”

 

Dinner passed quickly, surprising them both with the ease of their conversation.  Without meaning to or noticing, they slipped back into their well-worn routine like a favorite pair of slippers.  They laughed and teased their way through the courses of the meal, sharing stories about their lives that entertained and informed; they recalled, fondly, days spent together long ago.  Eventually, the check was brought, and Mackenzie reached for it, pulling it neatly from Will’s grasp.    

“No, Will.  This one’s on me.  It was supposed to be a business dinner, after all.” 

“I guess we didn’t accomplish much.”  He smiled as Mackenzie shook her head in response, but the smile that had taken up residence on her face for much of dinner stayed in place.  “Is the board really in bad shape?”  He helped her into her coat and rested his hands on her shoulders for a heartbeat before moving to put on his own jacket.

“Overcome by inertia, more than anything.”  Her heart had skipped when his hands had lingered on her shoulders, and she fought to keep her face impassive.  “I think a few carefully worded emails and some tactful reassignments will make a real difference.”

They strolled down the street, discussing the best ways to enact change without upsetting the delicate balance of the small town.  Will listened intently to Mackenzie’s assessment of the town and its inhabitants; he marveled at her deep understanding of the people around her and her assessment of what was needed to achieve her goals.

“Doesn’t sound like you need any help getting your board squared away here, Mac.”  She flushed under the compliment and stopped to gaze into a storefront window.

“It might be nice to have someone share the responsibility and the workload,” Mackenzie gave voice to the statement without thought as she watched the pair in the window work to hang a strand of lights.  “It’s one of my favorite things about this town.”  Will’s brow furrowed when he missed the jump in her thoughts.

“What is?”

“Christmas, Billy.”  The familiar endearment rolled off her tongue easily, jolting her back to full awareness.  She chided herself for allowing him back into her world so smoothly.  “It’s charming, and it’s genuine.  Everyone decorates; everyone participates.”  She gave her voice an edge and edged her body away from his.

“For a minute, just a minute, you forgot you were mad at me, Mackenzie.”

She didn’t turn her head, choosing instead to keep her focus on the window taking shape in front of them.

“I was never mad at you, Will.  I was hurt.  Confused.  Broken.  But never angry.”  They stood side by side in silence for several minutes, watching the window come together.  “It’s a magical time in this town, Christmas.”  As Mackenzie finished speaking, as if on cue, lights, crisscrossing the street above their heads, flickered to life, bathing the area in a soft, festive glow.  Will watched Mackenzie’s face, transformed by utter joy.  “See?  Magical.”  She gestured to the town square several blocks down.  “The trees will be in tomorrow.  A lovely couple sets up and sells them every year.”

“You know,” he started, tentative in his tone, “I sure could use help decorating.  Feel like spreading some Christmas cheer to the new guy in town?”  She looked at him, weighing the question.  “Meet you at the tree lot in the morning?  Around ten?”

“It’s not a tree lot.  It’s the town square that happens to transform into a Christmas tree marketplace at this time of year.”

“Obviously, I need the help acclimating to the Christmas climate here.  What do you say?”

“I suppose it would be poor manners to leave you to figure it out on your own.”  She bit back her own smile when Will puffed up with a grin.  “I’ll meet you at ten.”

 

The next morning, Mackenzie pulled boots on over her jeans and flipped up the collar on her quilted jacket.  It wasn’t her everyday look, but there was something about Christmas tree shopping that called for something other than a pencil skirt and a blouse.  She checked her reflection once more before making her way to The Main.  Mackenzie slipped into her café through the back door, poured two cups of coffee and exited through the front door after exchanging a few pleasantries with her staff.  She caught sight of Will as she approached the square.  He was engaged in a casual conversation with the mayor.  Mackenzie sighed; of course Charlie was present for the first day of the trees.  Charlie, Mackenzie feared, knew more about Will and his connection with her than she had ever revealed, and she wasn’t looking forward to the ways she knew he would insert himself into the situation. 

She saw the moment when Will registered her in his field of vision.  His face split into a wide smile, and he paused midsentence.  After a moment, Charlie turned his head to see what had distracted Will.  Mackenzie couldn’t hear what Charlie said to Will, but she saw him pat Will warmly on the arm and shake his head lightly before turning to one of the people waiting to greet him.

“Morning!”  She held out a coffee to him.  “Big day!”

“You always did love Christmas, Mac.”  He accepted the cup and took a long sip.  “Good coffee.  Thanks.”

“Sure,” she shrugged.   “Let’s find your tree.”

As they moved through the rows of trees and clusters of her neighbors and friends, she greeted a group of ladies who met for their book club at The Main and waved brightly to her sports editor. 

“Mackenzie!”  The voice stopped Mackenzie, and she turned in search of the summons.  She made her way to the woman, leaving Will talking with Elliot, the anchor of the local evening news.

“Nina, hi!”  Mackenzie pulled the blonde into a quick hug as they neared each other.  “How’s the column going?”

“Syndication is a double-edged sword.  I’ve got to drive straight down the middle more than I’d like, and I don’t get as much say in my subjects as I used to.  But, it certainly pays the bills.  How’s the paper?  And the café?”

“Everything is swimming along.  Jim seems to have more and more of a handle on the paper daily, and the café is practically running itself.  I’ve been spending a lot of time on some of the town business that Charlie seems to have delegated to me.”  Mackenzie tossed her hand up to get Will’s attention as he came around the corner scanning for her. As he drew near, she continued.  “We really should have lunch soon.  It’s been far too long since we’ve discussed the possibility of you coming back as a contributor to the paper.”  Will’s arm slipped around her waist, and, without glancing up at him, she began to introduce him.  “Nina, this is—“

“Will.”

“Nina.”  Will’s voice was like ice, and when Mackenzie, startled, looked up at him, his face registered vague horror.  Mackenzie looked then to Nina and saw blind shock.  “What are you doing here?”

“I live here.  And you?”  Will laughed at her words, a frigid, humorless sound.

“I just moved to town.”  The tone of Will’s voice frightened Mackenzie.  It was a tone she had heard on one other occasion:  the night 17 years ago when Will had walked out of her life.

“How—how do you two know each other?”  Mackenzie asked the question, attempting to gain her footing in the conversation.  She felt Will’s arm tighten around her waist, almost painfully, and her stomach felt as though it were hitting the floor.

“Will and I were engaged, a long, long time ago,” Nina spoke after a beat.  Mackenzie nodded once, very slowly.  “Mackenzie, I really do have to go.  I’ll call you about lunch, alright?”  With a nod to Will, she turned and retreated through the crowd.

Mackenzie attempted to step out of Will’s grasp and found herself locked in next to him.

“Let go of me, Will,” Mackenzie said with an attempt at an equable tone.

“Mac—“

“No.  We’re not going to do this here.”  She extricated herself from the prison his arm was creating and took a step away, needing to put physical distance between them.

“Mackenzie,” Will began, a note of quiet desperation in his voice, “Mac, don’t walk away from me.  Please.” 

She laughed at the irony of his words.

“Do you remember the night that you made me believe that you would never marry, that my age was the major part of it, but that you had no intention to marry?”  Will locked eyes with Mackenzie but said nothing.  “Do you remember that night?” she asked again, emotion shaking her words.  He nodded.  “She’s my age, Will.  Actually, she’s more than a year younger than I am.”  Eyes flashing, she silently dared Will to feign ignorance.  He only nodded again, his face an unreadable mask.  “Well then, I guess that’s all that there is to say.”

Mackenzie turned calmly and began walking away from the heart of the square, headed for solace in her office at The Main.  The world seemed to be spinning around her.  Will’s footfalls behind her alerted her that he was following, and she sped her gait in an attempt to put distance between them.  Will’s long strides quickly overtook hers, though, and she heard his voice very near her ear.

“I don’t think that we’ve finished this conversation.  I think it’s just begun.”

“For your sake, we shouldn’t talk about it right now, Will.” 

“If I let you shut me out, I’ll never get around those damn walls that I’ve been working to dismantle.”

Mackenzie banged through the front doors of The Main and made a path directly to her offer.  She flung the door open and gestured for Will to enter in front of her.  The door closed behind them with a satisfying thud.

“Mac—“

“No!” Mackenzie all but shouted and immediately clamped a hand over her mouth.  She wanted nothing less than for her customers, neighbors, and staff hear the quarrel that was unavoidable at this point.  “You were going to marry her, Will?  You were going to marry her!”  She eased herself into her desk chair and motioned for him to take the chair across.  He remained on his feet.  “You planned to marry.”

Will knew that Mackenzie had arrived at the heart of the issue.  He recalled, vividly, a day, years ago, when he had promised her that there were two reasons he wouldn’t marry her:  one, she was too young to be tethered to a man of his age; two, he had no intention of marrying, ever.  “Why can’t we just be happy as things are?” he had asked.

 

**_~_ **

 

“Why can’t we just be happy as things are?" 

“I am happy, Billy.”  She watched him pace circles around the living room.  “I thought we were both happy.”

The argument was becoming a tired one.  Will continued to enlist his age as a reason why their relationship couldn’t continue.  Mackenzie continued to assert her independence and ability to make informed decisions for herself.

“I am happy,” he sighed.

“Then, why are we having this discussion, _again_?  It never leads anywhere, and your argument isn’t cogent.”  Will smirked, in spite of himself.

“Been reading my law review again, huh?”  She smiled back at him.  This argument led them in circles time and again, to the point that they were both able to retain some semblance of humor throughout it.  “Hon, I can’t marry you.  I can’t marry anyone.  You know my family history.  If there’s even one drop of that in me, I’d rather be alone forever than put you through that.”

“I’m not asking you to marry me!  I’m not the one who keeps bringing a marriage into this conversation.”

“I know.  But you should marry, Mackenzie.  You should be with someone who will give you a family and grow old with you.”

Mackenzie threw up her hand and offered a frustrated groan.

“And we’re back to age.  The greatest hits.”

“It never changes.  I know the honorable thing to do, Mac.  It’s to set you free to live your life.  I just can’t get there.”  Mackenzie said nothing.  She had heard it before.  “You’re special.  What you and I have is real.  I’ve never experienced anything like this before.”

“Neither have I, Billy,” she echoed.

“And that’s the end of side A,” he offered with a hollow smile, carrying forward her musical metaphor.  “Be sure to tune in tomorrow for the conclusion of this discussion.”  Mackenzie smiled and allowed herself to be tugged off the couch and into Will’s arms.  “We’ll figure it out eventually, hon.”

****

**_~_ **

 

“I should have known better,” she said, anger in her voice.

“Than what?”

“To have held onto something—to someone who cared so little that they could walk away and not look back for almost two decades.”

“Mackenzie,” he was shouting now, desperate to make her hear him, “listen to me!”  Again, she gestured to the chair across from her.  Reluctantly, he sat.  “Let me explain.”  She pursed her lips and stared at him.  “After I left—when I moved,” he stumbled through the beginning of his story, “I was wrecked.  Working twenty hours a day, drinking myself into oblivion the other four hours.  Eventually, I’d crash, sleep for twenty-four hours over a weekend and do it again.  About six months into my self-destructive spiral, one of the partners introduced me to Nina, a young blonde assistant to someone or other who had big dreams of a well-off husband.  She made it easy to be—“ he hesitated, “casual.  And then, when nothing, not the booze, not the blonde, not the job, was filling the void, I decided to give it a shot.  I mean, fuck Mac, if I couldn’t have you—“

“You could have,” she interrupted quietly.  He stood, anxious energy driving him to his feet again.

“I’m sorry.”  He meant it; it was as genuine an apology as she had ever heard.  “What I meant was that I wasn’t going to… I couldn’t…”

“It’s the same conversation all over again,” she said when he paused, seemingly lost for words.

“It was experimental.”

“That’s beneath you.”

“I know.”  She looked genuinely appalled.  “Look, Mac, it wasn’t like you’re envisioning.”  She raised an eyebrow.  “It wasn’t candlelight and falling in love.  It was convenience and trying to see if I could shake you.  It was an attempt to feel good about marriage and not have guilt about a perceived issue related to age.”  He chose the last words carefully, trying to convey his paradigm shift to her.

“I—why didn’t you go through with it?”  He shook his head at her, not understanding the question.  “Why is she an ex-fiance and not an ex-wife?”

“I couldn’t.  I just couldn’t marry her.”  The look on her face told him that it wasn’t enough, that she needed more of an explanation.  “The first time that I made your favorite breakfast and completely forgot that she was a vegetarian.  The tenth time, it seemed like a sign.”  She still didn’t look satisfied.  “Fuck, Mackenzie.  She wasn’t you.  I didn’t love her, and I didn’t want to spend my life with her.”  He paused, deciding whether or not to finish the thought.  “I want to spend my life with you.”

“Then where have you been?”  She held up her hand to stop his response.  “That was rhetorical.”  She stood and came around her desk toward the door.  “I can’t do this right now, Will.  I need time.  I just need a little time, alright?”  Without giving him a chance to answer, she left Will sitting in her office.

Several hours later, Will was pacing around his living room, without direction.  He mentally kicked himself for not seeing the ‘Nina’ issue coming before he had been able to address it with Mac.  He had spent a lot of time over the years berating himself for the choices he had made regarding Mackenzie, walking away from her, staying gone; it was fruitless to continue to look backward.  He needed a plan.  Having lost the battle today, Will knew that redoubling his efforts was the way forward; defeat was not an option.  He continued round and round the room, trying to give himself a pep talk, when his phone buzzed.

_You still need a tree.  7 pm? -M_

Relief rushed over Will, and he entertained the hope that today’s setback wouldn’t be insurmountable.

_See you there, Mac. -W_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay-- I really hope you liked it! And happy 2018 to all of you!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IMPORTANT NOTE: I posted two chapters today. If you've not read chapter 3, please jump back one page and read it first!

Chapter 4

The temperature had dropped by the time Mackenzie was pulling on her coat to return to the square to meet Will.  She had spent the better part of her afternoon alternating Jameson and hot tea, by turns pacing her living room and with her knees tucked to her chest in the oversized leather chair.  She replayed parts of conversations over and over; she examined the last seventeen years of her life, weighed the life she had envisioned with Will against the life that she had built for herself.  _Would I change it?  Would I give up this community?  the people?  the memories?_

As she approached the square, she tugged her collar up closer to her ears and wished she had brought a hat.  _Vanity 1, Mackenzie 0._ The lights around the square sparkled gaily, setting a cheerful and festive scene.  Mackenzie squared her shoulders and approached Will; his back was to her.

“Will,” she said, tapping him lightly on the shoulder.  He turned and offered her a wide and relieved grin.

“I’m really glad you’re here.”  He held out a cup to her.

“Oh,” her eyes went wide as she continued, “I can’t have coffee this late in the day.  I’ll be up all night.” 

“It’s cocoa, Mac.  You’ll still sleep like a baby.”  She accepted the cup with a smile.  “Now, come on.  I think I may have found the tree, but you’re the expert.”  He fought the urge to put his hand on the small of her back.  “It’s this way,” he gestured toward a corner of the square.

They walked toward the tree Will had found in silence.  It was a tentative peace, and neither she nor he seemed keen to break it.  As they rounded a row into another, Will’s step slowed, and he stopped in front of a tree.

“William Duncan McAvoy,” Mackenzie chuckled, turning toward the tree in front of which Will had stopped, “you can’t be serious!”

“What?”

“Unless you bought a place with twenty-foot ceilings and double doors, this tree is… a little bit ambitious.”  He smiled at her, eyes shining.  “What kind of place _did_ you buy?”

“Nothing with fifteen-foot ceilings, Mac.  Just a cabin.”

“And, how many bedrooms does this cabin have?”

“Four.”  He gave the information without inflection.  “Bathrooms to match.”

“Some cabin,” she huffed.  “Sounds more like a chateau than a cabin.”

“Six one, half dozen.  It had the location I wanted, that’s all.”  He sized up the tree again.  “But, this isn’t the tree I meant.”  He took a half step to the left.  “This is the one I meant.”

“That’s much more sensible.”  She took a step back to take in the whole tree.  “It’s got a good depth.”  She nodded once, making up her mind.  “This will do.  This will do, nicely.”

Out of her peripheral vision, Mackenzie saw the smug smile that crept across Will’s face at her approval of his tree.  He signaled to one of the teenagers working that they’d take the tree and handed some bills to the boy.

“Now, how are you transporting this back to your ‘cabin’?”

“Got a truck around the corner.”  She raised an eyebrow at him.  “It came with the place.”

“Will McAvoy in a truck.  I never thought I’d see you behind the wheel of a pickup.  The Nebraska farm boy resurfaces.”  There was a teasing note in her voice.

“It came with the place, Mackenzie.”  He tried for a growl, but it fell short, and he grinned back at her.  “What are the chances that I’m going to be able to talk you into decorating this tree with me?”  Mackenzie glanced at her watch.

“It’s late.”

“It’s not so late, Mac.  I’ll get a fire going.”  She worried her lip between her teeth.  “I don’t have that many decorations.”  Mackenzie glanced at her watch once again before nodding.  “Good.  I wouldn’t want to see this tree without your help.”

“Who usually keeps you from mucking about with your tree?”  She asked the question lightly, but the minute it crossed her lips, she could gleefully have kicked herself.  “I’m sorry,” she hurried on, “that’s none of my business.”  He laid a hand on her arm, stilling her, before dropping the tailgate of the truck so that the tree could be loaded.

“Hey, you’re fine.  It’s a fair question.  My youngest sister elected herself in charge of Christmas cheer the year that I moved…”  He stumbled over his words again.  “Can we come up with some sort of euphemism for my leaving seventeen years ago?”  She tilted her head, and he could tell she was deciding whether to torment him or whether to ease his burden.

“We can say ‘your cross-country move’ if it helps.”  He chuckled and nodded.

“My youngest sister had been helping me since my cross-country move.”  He paused for a breath.  “She passed away last year, and so I didn’t bother with a tree last Christmas.”

“Oh, Billy.”  She threw her arms around his waist and hugged him tightly.  His arms immediately closed around her.  “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s… thanks.”

“How are the girls?”  She stepped back to look up at him.  He gestured toward the passenger door of the truck, and Mackenzie climbed up.  Will closed her door and rounded to truck to the driver’s door.

“They’re as good as can be expected.  Meaghan got married last year, before—“  He cleared his throat.  “Her mom was there.  Jess is finishing up her undergraduate program.  I think the normalcy of classes is helping.”

“I don’t know what to say.  I’m just so sorry.”  They rode in silence until Will turned the pickup down a tree-lined drive.  “You bought Reese’s old place?”  She laughed.  “I can’t say I’m terribly surprised.”

“He certainly wasn’t using it.  New York is a big drive from here.”

“Probably could have fit the first tree in there.”

“I don’t have enough ornaments for that monstrosity.  The tree we've got is perfect.”  _We_ slipped so easily off his tongue.  It felt right and reminded him of the work he still had to do in repairing their relationship.

“Do you want help bringing in the tree?”

“What kind of macho image would I have if I said yes?”

“You are, absolutely, without a doubt, ridiculous.  Do you need help?”

“How about grab my keys, and open the door for us.”

“Easy enough.”  _Like this whole evening.  Like everything with Will feels._

She fumbled with the keys for a moment, trying two before finding the right one.  As she opened the door, she heard Will’s voice from somewhere inside the tree moving up the walk.

“The light switch is to the right, hon.”

Mackenzie flicked the switch, flooding the space with soft light.  She continued through the foyer to allow Will to clear the door with the tree.  Tossed haphazardly over the back of the couch was a well-worn quilt that Mackenzie recognized in the span of a breath.  She felt Will brush by her with the tree, and she followed him into the room, eyes never leaving the blue quilt.

 

**_~_ **

 

Mackenzie’s eyes fluttered once, fighting wakefulness.  As sleep left her, she could sense breathing and felt eyes focused on her.  She recognized that the sound of the door opening and closing had alerted her to morning.  With a small sigh, she rolled over and was startled to see two pairs of small eyes peeking back at her from the edge of the bed.  With infinite care, Mackenzie wiggled her shoulders just enough to let her know that she was fully covered by the soft quilt.  Satisfied that she was not revealing any inappropriate skin, she smiled at the eyes watching her.

“Hello there.  And, who might you be?”

“We're playing hide and squeak,” a small voice said.

“Hide and seek,” said a slightly bigger voice.  The small voice's eyes bobbed a little. 

“That's right, hide and speak.  But we have to be quiet so that we don't wake you up.”

The bigger voice took over, “Only you were already awake, so we didn't wake you up, right?”

“That seems a lot like a technicality, small fry,” a much larger voice said from the doorway.

“You said not to wake her up, not to not to hide in here, Uncle Will.” 

The rushed explanation brought a smile to Mackenzie’s face.

“I wasn’t all that asleep,” Mackenzie said, reassuring the eyes that darted back to stare at her.

“Okay you two,” Will said, opening the door and motioning the children out, “out you go.  Now.  Go put on a movie.  I'll be down in a few minutes.”

“Are we in trouble?” the smallest voice in the room asked, her eyes chasing glances between the grownups.

“No!” Mackenzie spoke quickly.  “You are certainly not in trouble, but you better scoot.  I know that tone that your uncle is using—he means business.”

“That's right.  I do.  Now, out.”  He ushered the children from the room and shut the door behind him.  “I’m sorry about that,” he said, stooping to drop several kisses on her forehead and then her shoulder.  “I didn't know they were going to be here until they knocked on the door.”

“It's fine.  I'll just throw on some clothes and get out of here—“  Will cut her off. 

“You will take a shower, and then join us downstairs for breakfast.   We have a lot to get done today, including shopping for that Christmas tree that you keep insisting I get.”

“I know we had talked about doing that today, but you’ve got the girls now,” Mackenzie started, sitting up and clutching the quilt to keep covered.  “I don’t want to interrupt your family time.”

“I want you here.  We had a day planned, and they’re welcome to be part of it.  Please stay.”  He slipped a hand under the quilt and caressed her shoulders and then gently cupped her bare breast.  “It drives me crazy knowing you’re up here in my bed, and I have to go watch a children’s movie.”  Mackenzie tilted her head, positioning her lips to kiss him.  

“If you’re sure that it won’t be uncomfortable for the girls.”

“They’ll love you.  I promise.”  He captured her waiting lips, and let his tongue tease hers for a moment before biting back a groan.  “I’m going to go downstairs before this gets out of hand and I end up in this bed with you.”

She nodded against his chest and focused on breathing normally.  He kissed her lightly, smiled knowingly, and was gone.

 

A little while later, Mackenzie came downstairs, freshly showered and dressed.  She found Will sitting on the couch, a pixie-like girl curled in either arm watching a movie that, from first glance, appeared to be about a princess, a horse, and a castle. 

“How’s the movie?” she asked, making her presence known to the room.  The girls popped up and spun around with smiles.

“Hi!  Uncle Will said we’re going to get a Christmas tree today, and that you’re going to come, too!  Only, the tree is for Uncle Will and not for us.  But it’ll be okay because we get hot chocolate,” the older girl said, very seriously.

“With marshmallows,” the smaller girl added.

 “I like hot chocolate with marshmallows, too,” Mackenzie whispered with a conspiratorial wink.  “Maybe we can get your uncle to let us have extra marshmallows.  What do you think, Will?"

“If you’re all very, very well behaved, then we can discuss extra marshmallows.”  He smiled at Mackenzie.  “Especially you.”  Mackenzie and the girls both laughed.

The tree lot was cold, and the girls- Meaghan and Jessica, Mackenzie had discovered- were bundled in their coats and Will and Mackenzie’s scarves, having deemed the adults’ accessories necessary to their own survival.  They bounced from tree to tree, exclaiming over this one and that one, ruling each tree out and then back in again.  Will and Mackenzie watched with amusement as the girls delighted in the game.

“I think this one will do just fine for our purposes,” Will said, gesturing to a tree in front of Mackenzie. “But we’ll let them play for a bit longer.”  He slid his arm around her waist, and reveled in the way that her body melting into his, her head comfortably resting on him.

“They’re so sweet, Will and such good kids.  It’s been fun having them around today.”

“Their parents have done a good job with them.”

“Uncle Will,” Meaghan called from across the way, “can we have hot chocolate now?”

“Certainly, little girl,” he responded, steering Mackenzie towards the girls and the refreshment stand.

The cups of the warm beverage were quickly purchased and consumed.  The tree was selected and lashed down on the top of Will’s SUV.  Mackenzie lifted Jessica into the vehicle and helped her fasten her seatbelt over her booster seat.  Meaghan, on the other side of the truck, was trying to buckle her own seatbelt, struggling before finally giving in and allowing Will to do it.  As he turned to get into the front seat, Jessica started to speak.

“Uncle Will,” she began, her serious nature peeking through the mirth of the afternoon, “are you and Kenzie going to get a baby?  Mommy said that if we wanted a baby to play with that—“ she bit her lip, working to remember the conversation with accuracy, “it would have to be a cousin baby and not a sister or brother baby.”

Mackenzie was mildly amused to see Will blanch at the question and watched him flounder for a moment before stepping in to field the question.

“Your uncle and I aren’t married, Jessie.  So, we can’t have a baby.  Have you been asking for a baby?”  Will marveled at Mackenzie’s ability to diffuse the question and turn the topic back to the little girl.

“Yes,” the girl said with an emphatic nod.  “I haven’t ever gotten to play with a baby like Meggie got to play with me.  So, we need a baby.”

Mackenzie nodded seriously.  “I understand.  And what about you Meaghan?  Do you think you need a baby?”  The older girl shook her head. 

“If we get a baby, Jessie will have to move into my room.  And I don’t have a bed for her.”

“I see.  Well then, it seems like it’s a good thing that there isn’t a baby to take up the room right now.”  Mackenzie fought back a laugh.  The girls had clearly spent a good amount of time asking their parents for a baby and considering the matter on their own.

As they reached Meghan and Maddie’s house, Mackenzie bid them farewell and promised to see them soon.  Will thanked them for helping to pick out their Christmas tree and released them into their parent’s care.  The return trip to Will’s home was relatively silent.

“Penny for your thoughts.”  Will broke the quiet of the ride.

“They’re really sweet girls, Billy.” 

She hopped out of the car and reached to help unlash the tree from the top of the vehicle.  Together, they maneuvered it down and into the house, securing it in the stand without much fuss.  Will brought out a box with lights and a large crate labeled ‘ornaments’.  They went to work stringing lights, making progress quickly.

“Do you want a family, Mackenzie?”  He passed the bundle of lights around the tree to her waiting hands.

“Why do you sound like you’re gearing up for a death match?”  Will cast his eyes at her, demanding an answer rather than her attempt at diffusion.  “I suppose that I’ve always thought that I would have a family of my own, eventually.”  She tucked the strand strategically between some branches before passing it back to Will.  “What about you?”

“If I was ever going to do it, it’d be with you.”

They worked in silence for another few minutes.

“I’m not sure that’s an answer, Billy,” Mackenzie concluded eventually.

“I used to think about it a lot more.  I’m now in my forties, and I need to consider that I’m going to die and is my kid going to be old enough to handle it.”

“Billy, there’s no age at which you’re okay with your father dying."

“But there’s a difference between being an adult and dropping a piano on a kid."

“You don’t look to me like you’re going to die anytime soon.”  She moved to the other side of the tree, nearer to him, and wrapped her arms around his waist, pressing her cheek to his back.  “And unless you got hit by an ice cream truck, they’d still have you as a father for a while.”

“I’m not sure that’s such a prize, Mac.”

“Oh, Billy.”  She tightened her arms around him.  “You’re not your father.  You know that.”  He shrugged but didn’t respond.  “Come on.  Let’s put this to rest for now.  These lights are almost done.  Let’s have a glass of wine and a snack before we unpack your ornaments.”

“Alright, honey.”  He turned and kissed her lightly.  “That sounds good.”

They finished a bottle of wine and a wheel of soft cheese before they returned to their decorating task.  As the ornaments were unpacked, one after another, Will shared the stories, the memories attached to them.  Mackenzie reveled in the family history, in Will’s history, soaking up as much as she could about the man she loved.  She silently vowed to retain as much of the information as she could and to assimilate his traditions into hers.

 

**_~_ **

****

“Mac?”  Will’s voice was muffled, his face someplace in the depths of the tree.  “Mackenzie?”  He was louder this time, and he broke through her reverie. 

“Sorry.”  She reached in and steadied the tree so that Will could maneuver underneath to screw it into the stand.

“Where did you go?”

“I can’t believe that quilt is still hanging around.”

“Never could part with it.”  He gave the stand a slight shake, testing the steadiness of the tree.  “Alright, let it go.”  The tree rustled above him as she withdrew her grip.  Satisfied that it was secure, he worked his way out from under the tree.  Mackenzie’s glance flitted between the quilt haphazardly draped over the couch and the tree.  “I know.  It’s a little reminiscent.”

“Purposefully?”

“The thought crossed my mind, sure, but nothing about this is staged, Mac.”  He reached for the box containing the lights and chuckled.  “Very reminiscent, I suppose.”

“We used to be pretty good at this.”

“Which part?”  His smirked at his own words, letting the comfort of the rapid-fire back and forth envelop him.

“The tree decorating, Billy,” she said archly, but a smile crept across her lips, as well.  They began unpacking strands of lights, emptying the box before she continued.  “We were pretty good at the other stuff, too.”

The lights and ornaments went up with more laughing and reminiscing, facilitated by a bottle of wine.  Will shared some of the same stories about the pieces that had survived the years, offered some of the new memories that had been built through the years.

“My nieces and nephews have always worried about me,” he said as he hung another ‘uncle’ ornament.  “Don’t get me wrong.  They seem to like having me around for the holidays, but I’m the only unmarried adult in the family.  Even some of the kids are married now.  The girls used to try to set me up with their teachers around Christmastime for four or five years after the cross-country move.”  He caught Mackenzie’s eye.  “I’m not sure Jessie or Meaghan ever forgave me, though.  They fell in love with you the first time they met you, and they’ve carried a torch just like I have.”

The last phrase brought Mackenzie up short.

“You were engaged, Will.  To someone else.  I don’t know if that qualifies as ‘carrying a torch’.  I’m sure the girls loved Nina.”

“I don’t know.  I never introduced her to my family.”  He breathed deeply, allowing his words to sink in.  “You’re the last one.”

“Billy,” was all she could manage.  She looked up at him from where she had stooped to tuck the skirt around the bottom of the tree.

“Jesus, Mackenzie, it’s never not been you.  When I left, I swear to god I thought I was doing the right thing.  I can’t change my mistakes, and I can’t give us back the last seventeen years.  But, hon, I can give you the future, such that it is.”

“In the last seventeen years, I’ve gone from stringer to editor-in-chief.  I’ve started my own business, which is something that I love, and it’s grown exponentially.  These people, this community, Billy, they’re part of who I am.  I’ve got friends that have become family, who love and support me, unconditionally.”  She sat back on her heels, coming to rest fully on the floor.  “I’ve been giving it a lot of thought since you showed up at my door, and, Will, I need you to know that I wouldn’t change it.  I love my life.  Do I wish that things would have been different?  That you wouldn’t have walked out on the life we were building together?  Absolutely.  If I had to go back to that night though, I still wouldn’t go after you.  I wouldn’t trade them, wouldn’t trade my life for anything.” 

Her voice broke at the end, betraying how deeply felt her words were.  In the span of a heartbeat, Will was tugging her off the floor and into his arms.

“Mackenzie, that’s exactly how it should be.”  He kissed the top of her head.  “You’ve built an amazing life.  I wouldn’t change that for you.  What I’m hoping is that you can make room for me in this life that you’re created.”  He felt her nod but sensed the hesitation in it.  “Honey, I was a fool.  I should have been with you, been a part of your life.  What you’ve accomplished is all that I dreamed for you; where I fucked up is not being here to see it day in and day out.”

He held her close for long minutes, taking the scent of her deep into his lungs.  Her body melted into his, and for the first time in years, she let her guard down.  She turned her face toward Will’s and looked into his eyes.  She recognized the love in his eyes; it was unchanged, perhaps deeper, but still burning for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so that's two chapters today. I soooo hope you're still with me and that you're enjoying this! 
> 
> Again, happy 2018! May it be happy, healthy, and peaceful for you all!!!
> 
> (and to those of you who have comments to which I've not responded, I'm getting to it! I PROMISE!)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so we've concluded... merry late Christmas, all!
> 
> I so very much hope that you've enjoyed this. This story was super close to my heart, and I'm not entirely sure that I've done it the justice it deserved.

Chapter 5

 

Christmas Eve dawned cold and clear.  A sense of joyful anticipation drove Mackenzie from her bed well in advance of her alarm; her Christmas Eve gathering was one of her favorite events of the year.  She grinned widely at herself in the mirror before shaking her head.

“You’re like an excited child,” she said aloud through the smile.

The event had begun Mac's first Christmas in town as an intimate gathering at her home and had grown exponentially through the years.  Six Christmases previous, Leona had come through the front door, taken one look at the mob-scene before her, and declared the event too large for Mac’s domicile.  Initially, Mac had shaken her head and indulgently moved the entire party-in-progress to The Main—better an interrupted party than a fussy Leona, she had argued.  The venue change, though, had proven to be a stroke of genius, and the event had permanently moved.  

Mackenzie shrugged at the silly smile that refused to be quelled, embracing the enthusiasm coursing through her veins.  This was one of the few days of the year when both of her worlds, the café and the paper, came together, when all of her friends and loved ones shared space and fellowship, when she could lose herself in the festivity and the spirit of the season and drive everything else from her mind.

She and Will had established a tentative peace in the form of cozy dinners, Christmas shopping, decorating-- a task that never seemed completely finished, and innumerable meetings in the spirit of community involvement.  Since the night that they had decorated his tree, when he had poured love into a look, staring down at her in his arms, and then not kissed her, any forward progress toward a real reconciliation seemed to have stalled.

Old memories felt closer to the surface this year, and Mackenzie sensed melancholy lapping at the edges of her excitement.  She made her coffee, and began to dress with a sudden determination; she needed to get to The Main, to distract herself from the Christmas Eve that she didn’t want to remember.

 

**_~_ **

 

“Will, you’ve been quiet all night.  Do you want to tell me what is going?”  

Will looked across the car and gave Mackenzie a smile that conveyed only sadness.

“Mac, did you have a nice Christmas Eve?”

“Of course!  I love your family.  They’re loud and funny, and they just live.  It’s so different from my childhood.  Diplomatic parties and state never had that homey feel.”  She looked over at Will, noting the sadness still creasing his brow.  “You know I’m happiest when I’m with you, Billy.”  The wall that had appeared between them earlier that day seemed to stay firmly in place.  “Are you sure you’re alright?  You’re not at all yourself today.”    Genuine concern filled her voice, and she saw Will stiffen at her tone.  “What is it, honey?  Did the doctor call?  Did he have bad news?”  Will had undergone his annual physical early in the week and had completed a battery of tests to assuage all fears related to his health.

“I fucking hate that you jump to my health.  Are you afraid I’m going to keel over right here, Mac?  Is my age showing?”  The harsh anger in his tone caught Mackenzie completely by surprise.  Fear quickly replaced the shock. 

“What did Habib say, Will?  What’s going on?”

“Dammit, Mackenzie!  I’m healthy as a horse and in much better shape than most anyone my age.”  Mackenzie let out the breath that she didn’t realize she had been holding.

“Don’t do that to me, you crazy man!”  Relief flooded through her.  “Your age?  Really, Billy?  Is that what has you so tense today?”  They hadn’t had that fight in months, and Mackenzie had felt certain that the matter had finally been put to rest.

They pulled into the driveway of Mackenzie’s home, and Will parked the car in the driveway.  Before Mackenzie could open her door, Will spoke.

“I’m moving, Mac.”  He said the words quietly, in a tone that sounded resigned to an impending fight.  Mackenzie bounded out of the car, quickly dismissing the statement.

“Don’t be silly, Will.  Your business is doing great, and I’m finally getting to cover what I want at the paper.  Why on earth would we want to move?”

“Not we, Mackenzie.  Me.  I’m going.  You’re staying here.”

Mackenzie felt the air leave her lungs.  She leaned against Will’s car for support.

“What are you talking about?”  The question came out weak and breathy.  Will placed his hands on either of Mackenzie’s shoulders.

“Hon, I’ve been telling you for months that this, that us, was going to have to end.  You know why it does.”  He paused, dragging in a long breath.  “I’ve sold my house to Gary.  He’s going to take over the day-to-day operations at the office until I can sell.”

“Where?  Where are you going?”

“A town about ten hour’s drive from here.  They seem to be uniquely suited to my brand of business.”  Mackenzie blinked once, then again, trying to hold back the tears, but one slipped past her long lashes and slid down her cheek.  Will wiped it away with the pad of his thumb.  She opened her mouth to speak, but the words refused to be formed.  Her eyes searched his, looking for anything to hint that this was a cruel joke.  Will watched her face, hated the hurt, disbelief, and fear in her expression, despised himself for doing this to her.  Again, she tried to form a word, and still, no words came.  “Mackenzie, you know that I'm in love with you.  Your very being stirs my soul.  When your heart beats, mine knows its cadence.  We’ve had this conversation a hundred times.  But loving you means wanting what’s best for you.  The years that are part of why I love you are the same reason that I am leaving.  We might have thirty or even thirty-five good years together—fuck I don’t know,” he carded his hands in her hair and continued, “but I won't spend the last years of my life watching you grow old before your time.  If I stay here, I’ll never let you go.”  Mackenzie’s tears flowed freely now, and she made no effort to stem their tide.  She shook her head and gently shrugged off the strong hands tangled in her hair.  Still, she held his gaze, refusing to look away.  Her heart was pouring forth questions, entreaties, desperate professions of her love; her mouth refused to form the words.  She tilted her head to the side to try to clear the block, and Will kissed her temple.  “There is no one else,” he said close to her ear.  “There never really was, and I’m not fool enough to believe I’ll find this again.”  He paused and began again, slowly.  “You’re so young.  You will find someone who will drive all thoughts of me from your mind.  Marry him, Mac.  Have those babies you dream about.  I’m not the marrying kind.  You deserve a future that I can’t give you.”  The words seemed to have cost him greatly; his shoulders slumped as he finished.

“Can’t or won’t?” Mackenzie whispered, finally finding her voice and turning away from him.  Will’s hands turned her back to him.

“Can’t.  Can’t take your future from you,” he said roughly, emotion choking his voice.

“YOU,” she screamed at him, breaking off in a sob before continuing more quietly, “are my future.  My heart belongs to you.  Please, Billy, don’t do this.”  Mackenzie’s voice was tight with unspoken thoughts and choked back sobs.  “Please,” she whispered again.  Will brushed his lips across Mackenzie’s, lightly ran a finger across her collarbone and then got in his car.

“Goodbye, Mackenzie.”                                                       

 

And then he was gone.  He had left her standing in her driveway, stunned, and she had remained there for agonizing minutes, waiting for him to return, to take it all back and hold her close.  But he had not returned, and eventually, Mackenzie had gone inside and cried herself to sleep. 

 

**_~_ ** ****

 

He hadn’t returned for seventeen years.  Mackenzie brushed away the tears that fell unbidden.  It had been many Christmases since she had allowed herself to revisit that night, but it still brought ice to her veins and caused her heart to stutter through its normal rhythm.

“It didn’t have to be this way, Will,” Mackenzie whispered.  “My heart never forgot you.”  The phone rang, drawing Mackenzie away from her thoughts.  “Hello?  Sloan!  Merry Christmas Eve!  I was just getting ready to leave.”  She pulled her hair back and looked at herself in the mirror.  The look was more severe than festive, and she let her hair down and gave it a light shake, nodding at herself.  _Better._   “A red dress?”  She walked into her closet and scanned the selection.  “Absolutely.  I’ll drop it by on my way to town.”  With a last glance back at her reflection in the mirror, Mac sighed and unzipped the dress she stepped into only minutes ago. 

Sloan had been discouraged by an inability to shed five pounds that had materialized in the last few weeks, and she had found that her wardrobe was entirely unforgiving.  Mackenzie’s clothes, while close in size to Sloan’s, were more conservatively fitted, allowing Mac comfort during the course of the twelve and fourteen hour days that were more and more common as the paper and café continued to both thrive.  If Sloan wanted a red dress, Mackenzie was only too happy to change her ensemble for the day to make that happen.

Mackenzie stepped into her closet, surveying the space in search of something appropriately festive for Christmas Eve.  She tugged at a swatch of dark green peeking out from a plastic wrapped dress buried at the back of the rack and felt her breath catch as the taffeta came off the hanger into her grasp.  At one time, it had been her favorite dress, and, though she hadn’t been able to bring herself to wear it for seventeen years, Mackenzie had been unable to let herself donate the dress.  _He wouldn’t recognize it.  He probably won’t even be there._ Mackenzie had invited Will to the Christmas Eve luncheon on a whim, knowing that he would likely be traveling to see his family.

And so, armed with the relative certainty that Will wouldn’t be in town, Mackenzie stepped into the tea-length dress, for the first time in almost two decades.  She reached around to zip herself up, vividly recalling Will’s hands zipping her into it years ago, and took in her reflection.  She was much the same as she had been the last time she wore this dress, slightly softer overall, the beginnings of silver chasing the lighter highlights from her hair, and Mackenzie was pleased that the dress seemed to have aged as well as she had.

Mackenzie shook off the surreal feeling of putting on the same dress that she had worn exactly seventeen years before and glanced at the clock before reaching for a curling iron and then setting it back down, almost immediately.  _Festive, not frivolous._ Mackenzie argued with herself as she picked up the iron again, turning it on and leaving it to heat.  Her phone rang again, and she reached to answer it.

“Hey, Don!  Happy Christmas Eve,” she offered the enthusiastic greeting with genuine warmth in her words.

“Merry Christmas Eve, Kenz.  Listen…”

“What’s wrong?”  Mackenzie was well-versed in the tone that Don was using; it meant trouble.

“Well,” he began, haltingly, “I guess the soup kitchen ran short last night, and they just came by…”

“Give them anything they need,” Mackenzie interrupted.  “Anything at all.”  She heard Don sigh, with relief, Mackenzie suspected.

“I did, and I know I should have called first, but they were waiting to open their doors, and, well, it’s Christmas Eve.”

“Well, Mr. Scrooge!  Sounds like someone finally found the spirit this year.”

“Okay, Ms. Dickens, but we’ve got a problem now."

“I think you mean Ms. Cratchet.  Dickens was the author, and his wife wasn’t at all related to the story.”  Don huffed into the phone.  “Alright, Donny.  What’s the problem?”

“What are we going to feed everyone this afternoon?”

Mackenzie smiled.  Don, at some point before Sloan had moved to town, had become part of her family, doubly so after he married Mac’s best friend.  He took as much pride in the annual gathering as she did; he had even when it had been hosted at Mackenzie’s house.

“We’ve got time.  I’ll be in shortly.  Have a look at the pantry, and make sure I don’t need to stop on my way.  This isn’t a problem, it’s an opportunity!”  Her grin grew wider as Don chuckled into the phone.  “How much, exactly, are we down?”

“About half.”  He sounded tentative, and Mackenzie shrugged, though Don couldn’t see.

“That’s fifty percent better than where we could be!”  Don laughed again and turned to the pantry.

“Alright, Kenz.  See you soon.”

Mackenzie disconnected the call and, for the second time that morning, unzipped her dress.  _No sense making a mess of it.  I’ll change before everyone arrives._   She added some gentle curls to her hair with the practiced speed of experience and pulled jeans and a sweater from her closet.  Mackenzie hung her dress on the hanger, pulled the plastic back over it, and placed her heels in a duffel bag.  As an afterthought, she tossed her makeup bag in after the shoes, just in case she ended up with flour on her face again.

 

Several hours later, Mackenzie and Don had successfully recreated most of the food that had been donated to the soup kitchen earlier in the day.  Together, they had sped through almost seven hours of prep work, laughing and enjoying the process.

“You did a good thing this morning, Donny,” Mackenzie commented as they dried the last of the dished from their marathon of preparation.

“Nah.  Just what you would have done.”

“You’re a good man and a good brother.”  Don’s head came up, and his eyes met Mackenzie’s.  “I have a Christmas present for you, and I wanted to give it to you before everyone gets here.”

“Kenz…”  She silenced him with a wave of her hand.

“I’ll be right back.”

“I’ll finish up here.”  Mackenzie came back into the kitchen a moment later with a stack of legal paper.  She looked at the top sheet once, smiled softly, and set them in front of Don.  “What’s this?”  He raised an eyebrow at her as he picked up the documents.

“Read it,” she encouraged him, very gently.  She watched his lips move as he began to read the legalese.  His eyebrows climbed, and she smiled as he backtracked with his eyes and reread.  When Don’s lips stilled, Mackenzie knew he had digested.  “Are you serious, Mackenzie?”

“Of course.”

“You trust me with this?”

“With my life, Don!  You’ve been my partner in every way here for years.  It’s only right that you have the chance to come in as a full partner.”  The wheels turned in his head; Mackenzie could read him with precision.  “I worked with the accountant already on the finances.  He’ll get with you after the new year to figure out how best to make it work so that you’re still drawing as much of your salary as you need.  I’m not rushing this.  As long as it takes…”  Mackenzie stopped, watching Don’s mouth open and close without making a sound.  “Fuck, I mean, if this is something you want.  Jesus, I didn’t even think…  Donny, you’re not obligated to anything.  If you don’t…” 

Mackenzie was stopped by Don’s arms dragging her to him and spinning her around in wide circles.  When he set her down, she was startled to see tears rimming Don’s eyes.

“God, Mackenzie.  Yes.”  He shook his head, clearing his eyes.  “Thank you.”

Mackenzie, too, fought back strong emotion.  There wasn’t any way that The Main would have survived and thrived without Don and his leadership.  Her dream had become a reality because of his dedication; she wanted to do the same for him, and while the idea of becoming only a fifty percent owner of The Main had taken some time to digest, there was no one she trusted with her business more than Don.

“There’s a second part, a just in case part.”  Don looked at her, silently encouraging her to continue.  “Should the option ever rise, you have right of first refusal on any franchise, if we go that direction.  And if you and Sloan ever decide to go elsewhere, now you can take us with you, at least in spirit.”

At Mac’s words, tears did spill from Don’s eyes.  The Main was his passion as well as Mackenzie’s and knowing that it was a permanent fixture in his life made his heart soar.  Mackenzie’s heart broke a little at even the suggestion that Don and Sloan might opt to change locale, but she knew that Sloan tended to uproot herself regularly.

“We’re not going anywhere, Kenz.  Promise.”

Mackenzie nodded and turned to leave the kitchen.

“We’d better get ready.  People will be arriving any minute.”

 

Mackenzie sat down in one of her office chairs and allowed herself a moment to collect herself.  _The holidays are always emotionally charged._ She took several deep breaths, centering herself and preparing for the waves of people that she heard Don greeting before digging her makeup from the duffel and fixing the smudges on her face.  The dress zipped up with only slightly less reminiscence this time, and Mackenzie checked her reflection in the mirror behind her desk.  _As good as it can be._   She tugged the elastic from her hair and shook out the mass, reforming a few of the looser curls with her fingers.  Offering her reflection a smile, Mac squared her shoulders and left the sanctuary of her office, excited once again for the melee of her family and friends.

“Kenzie!”  Sloan was the first person to spot Mackenzie and quickly crossed the room to her.  “Thanks for the dress.”  She turned in place, almost a twirl.  “What do you think?”

“Looks fantastic, honestly.”  Sloan’s face was bright, her eyes danced, and she leaned close to Mac’s ear.

“I figured out the weight issue.”  She spoke softly, words for Mac’s ears only.  Mackenzie raised her eyebrows, surprised at Sloan’s cool dismissal of the issue that had brought her to tears only days before.  “I’m pregnant, Kenz.”  Mackenzie felt her mouth fall open, followed immediately by Sloan’s fingers under her chin, closing her mouth.  “Don’t say a word.  I haven’t told Don, yet.”

Mackenzie pulled Sloan into a fierce hug and whispered in her friend’s ear.

“I’m so happy for you!”

“Good, because I’m fucking terrified.”

“I didn’t know you were still trying.”

“We weren’t.”  Sloan looked around, checking their privacy in the quickly crowding room.  “We just never went back to preventing.”  She shrugged.

“Oh, Sloan… it’s just, just wonderful!”  Mackenzie hugged Sloan again, quickly, and stepped back from her.  “When are you going to tell him?”

“Tonight.  Tomorrow morning.  Whenever it seems right.”

The door opened, and Mackenzie looked toward the bell that had alerted her to a newcomer.  Cold wind swirled into the warm café pushing Will through the door, and he immediately began unwrapping his scarf, reaching to hang it and his coat on the closest pegs.  Mackenzie’s eyes went wide, and everything around her receded except the tall man scanning the room, ostensibly looking for her.  Their eyes locked, and he made his way through the burgeoning crowd to her.  When he broke through the last throng of people and Mackenzie came fully into view, Will stopped short, all the color draining from his face.  He stood staring as though the actual ghost of Christmas past was standing before him.

“Will?”  Mackenzie’s voice was low, quiet, and deeply concerned.  She took three steps, closing the remaining gap between them.  “Billy?  Can you hear me?”  It wasn’t until her hand touched his arm, gently and then grasping with insistence, that his eyes moved to the hand touching him.  When his eyes slowly trailed back up to hers, they were full of tears.  “Fuck,” Mackenzie cursed under her breath.  She slipped her hand into Will’s and tugged him toward her office.  “Come with me.”  The door shut behind them, and Mackenzie stood in front of Will, watching him swallow visibly.

“Jesus, Mac.  What are you playing at?”  Confusion clouded her face, and Will continued, his voice broken.  “I have nightmares, actual nightmares, about you, about that dress.  Driving away from you in _that_ fucking _dress_.”

She exhaled his name as she flung herself into his arms.  He clung to her, crushed her body to his.  Minutes passed, and they stayed that way.

“Billy, I…” she faltered as she began to speak.  _Did I really believe that he wouldn’t remember as vividly as I do?_   “I thought you’d be with your family, truly.”

“You’re my family, Mackenzie.”  She stepped back from him, and he looked her up and down again.  “Honey, I’m so sorry.  I’ve wasted so much time.”

“No, I’m sorry.  This dress, I shouldn’t have…”  She couldn’t form the apology that she meant, and she offered a light shrug.  “I’m sorry.”

“None of this is your fault.”  He reached out to finger the collar of the dress.  “I can’t believe you still have this.”

“I loved this dress.  I couldn’t bear to let it go.”  She chuckled and kicked off her heels.  “I was so angry at you for ruining this dress for me.”  She began tugging her jeans on under the dress.  “This is the first time I’ve worn it since… the cross-country move.”  He smiled, appreciative of her word choice.

“Why today?”

“Sloan needed a dress, the dress I had planned on wearing, it turned out.”  She bit her lip and thought for a moment while she tugged her boots on over the jeans.  “And a part of me, I think, was ready to attach something new to an old dress.”  Will’s eyes finally broke with Mac’s, and he looked at her footwear with confusion.

 “What are you doing?”  She turned her back to him, arching her shoulders slightly, and he reached to unzip her dress without conscious thought to the action. 

“I’m changing clothes.  Your face went bloody ashen, Billy.”  The dress slipped forward, off of Mac’s shoulders, and she pulled her arms from the sleeves.  She stepped out of the dress, draping it over a chair, and pulled her sweater over her head, without turning back to Will.  Once the sweater was tugged down and her hair was swept free, she faced him.  “See?  Better.”

“You didn’t have to do—I was just caught off guard.”

“I didn’t have to, but I did.”  She stared at him for a moment.  “Are you alright?”

“Nothing’s alright, and you goddamn well know it.”

“That’s a big statement, but for now, let’s just be okay with the color returning to your face.  We can unpack the rest of that later.”  She smiled encouragingly at him.  “You okay to rejoin the party?”  At his solemn nod, Mackenzie took his hand to lead him back to the festivities.  “Smile, would you?”  She hit her tiptoes and kissed the corner of his mouth with a feather-light touch, and Will’s face cracked into a grin.

 

Hours later, the only people left in The Main were Jim, Sloan and Don, Leona and Charlie, and Will and Mackenzie.  Don and Sloan had just finished drying the dishes that Will and Mackenzie had been running through the industrial dishwasher.  Jim vacillated between trying to help with the clean-up and chatting with Leona and Charlie.  Leona stood to the side of Charlie’s chair, arm draped across his shoulders.  The bottle of bourbon they were passing between them was almost empty, and they both wavered a little in an attempt to stay still.  Jim watched as Leona stooped and lightly kissed Charlie’s temple, and stood, abruptly.

“How about a ride home, Mayor?  Mrs. Lansing?”  Leona waved him off without looking in his direction.  Jim tried again.  “Charlie?  Can I give you a lift?”  Charlie’s head turned in Jim’s direction.

“A lift where?”

“Home,” Jim offered the destination with a smile.  Charlie nodded as though Jim had confirmed his hunch.

“What do you say, Lansing?  Ready to blow this popsicle stand?”

“Charlie, with that bowtie, you look like a balloon salesman.”  Charlie nodded again, sagely.

“Yes, we would like a ride.”  He looked to Leona.  “To my house or yours?”

“I want to get the Allman Brothers back together.”

“Certainly.”  Charlie looked at Jim.  “My house.  And Leona, I’m pretty certain you can’t because I’m pretty certain they’re dead.”

“Fuck it.  I’ll do it when I’m dead.”

Will hid his laughter by biting the inside of his cheek, while Don openly snickered.  Jim hugged Mac and offered parting wishes for a Merry Christmas to everyone before helping Leona into her coat, and escorting the oldest of the group from the café.  The foursome who remained settled into club chairs, finally finished with the work of clearing up the event.

“So, Charlie and Leona?  Is that a thing?”  Will addressed the question to the group, but his eyes stayed locked onto Mackenzie, where they had been for the entire afternoon.

“When Nancy passed, their kids were only here for a week or two, and then he was all alone.  He came to one too many meetings in a rumpled suit, and Leona appointed herself in charge of Charlie.”  Sloan gave the information easily but cut Will a look.  “You’d know that if you’d been here.”

“Sloan.”  The tone of Mac’s voice didn’t leave room for negotiation, and Sloan stopped talking.

“Once Reese moved to the big city, Leona was really without any support system.  She and Charlie became pretty much inseparable.  They bicker everywhere they go, and she undermines him in front of the town, but at the end of the day, she’ll ruin anyone who crosses him, and he intentionally wears that bowtie to keep her attention.”  Don filled in the rest of the blanks.  He still wasn’t entirely certain how he felt about Will McAvoy, but Mackenzie had floated through the Christmas Eve party, and he knew how he felt about Mackenzie being happy.

“Are they… together?” Will put the question to Don.

“I don’t know if ‘together’ is the right word, but they seem to take care of each other.  So, I guess that counts for something.” 

“I guess that counts for something,” Will echoed. 

“So,” Sloan began, “why did his face fall off when he saw you earlier, and why did you change your clothes?”  She directed the questions to Mackenzie.  “If you had told me, I could have worn jeans, too.” 

Mackenzie looked stricken, and Will’s expression showed vague horror.  They tried in vain to form a response.

“You have almost no human knowledge,” Don said, putting a hand on Sloan’s arm to cut her off from further comment.  Sloan’s eyes got wide.

“Another area in which I do not excel?” she questioned.  Don nodded sadly at her.  “Shit.”  Sloan looked around the group.  As she took in Mackenzie’s expression, she made the snap decision that she needed to mend the mood.  “Well, I’m pregnant.  So there’s that.”

Mackenzie’s eyebrows climbed almost to her hairline, and she saw Don’s mouth fall open.

“You’re WHAT?” Don roared, coming to his feet.

“Yeah.  I was going to tell you later tonight.  But, it seemed the right moment for a diversion.”

The silence stretched for a long minute before Don let loose a whoop and pulled his wife into his arms.  Mackenzie wiped a tear from the corner of her eye and silently chastised herself for the number of times that she had been overcome by emotion in one day.

“We should… I think we should go,” Don began.  “We’ve got a lot to talk about, it would seem.”  Sloan nodded her agreement.  “Mackenzie, you’re good here?”  He cut his eyes to Will.  Mackenzie laughed.

“We’re fine here, Donny.  Take yourselves home.”  She stood and embraced the couple.  “Congratulations, so so many congratulations.”

“Thanks, Kenz.  For everything.” Don helped Sloan into her coat as he spoke.

As they left, Sloan even spared a smile for Will, who offered her a quiet ‘best wishes’.

Once they were alone, Mackenzie turned to the bar where they served coffee and was met with cups and plates that had been missed in the cleanup.

“I’ve got to get this finished, Will.”  She offered an apologetic glance to him.

“You don’t open for the evening crowd?”

“It’s a small town.  There wouldn’t be a crowd even if we opened.  Anyone who might come in has already been pulled into some gathering or another.”

“Ah, the charm of a true community.”  There was a note of genuine appreciation in his voice for both the small town and what Mackenzie had created in it.  “Can I stay while you’re finishing?”

“Of course.”  Mackenzie fell back into her routine, lowering the lights and switching off coffee machines.  “Can I get you a cup of coffee?  I could probably scare up a sandwich if you’re still hungry.”  She pressed a kiss to his cheek as she passed him on her way to lock the front door.

“I’d love a cup of coffee, Mackenzie.”  He said, and then stopped to clear his throat.  It sounded suspiciously gruff.  “As long as you don’t have to make fresh.”

Mackenzie smiled and pulled a mug from the shelf.  He watched her as she reached for the coffee pot.  To a casual observer, Mackenzie was virtually unchanged from the bright, shiny, young woman he had met in Charlie Skinner’s office years ago.  He could see, though, that she had changed, somewhere deep inside.  There was a resigned sadness about her that had been acquired sometime in her journey through the last seventeen years.  It was incredibly noticeable to him, but he doubted that anyone who wasn’t attuned to her in the ways that had frightened him before would notice; now, however, just as twenty years ago, Mackenzie’s very presence drove him nearly to distraction.  The girl he had known was still there, on the surface, but when she let her walls down, when she thought no one was looking, her smile dimmed, and sometimes, a tear shone in the corner of her eye.  He knew that something had stolen some of the natural glow that had illuminated her; he hoped that he had had nothing to do with it.  It had never occurred to him how much she might have longed for him, even though he had longed for her, and now, he was left with too many unanswered questions about what he had missed in the intervening years.

“You still take your coffee the same way?  As close to sludge as possible, enough caffeine to make your heart explode?  Dark as coal, hot as hell?”  

He nodded, and she poured the last coffee of the day into a mug and set it in front of him.  In the same breath, she retrieved a plate of cookies and set them in front of him.

“My coffee never sounds as sexy as when you say it, and it never tastes as good as when you pour it.”

“Still trite, even after all these years,” Mackenzie said with a small chuckle.

“Only where you’re concerned, I assure you.”  He selected a cookie from the tray and took a bite.  “I meant to mention earlier, Mac, you certainly haven’t lost your touch.  Everything today was phenomenal.  You always had a lot of talent.”

Mackenzie looked across the bar at Will and smiled; it was a small smile, but it was real and certain.  Alarm bells sounded somewhere in the back of her mind, but the moment her eyes connected with Will’s, she was lost.  She silently shut the alarms in a dusty closet in the back of her mind and let go of the inhibitions that had been keeping her from fully reinvesting in Will.

“It’s Christmas Eve, and it’s still early.  Why don’t you come home with me and have supper?  I wasn’t planning anything too fancy, but I’m relatively certain that I can pull together something festive.”

Will’s mouth watered.  “That’s dirty pool.  Even if I wanted to, you know that I could never turn down your cooking.”

“Do you want to?” she asked, halfway serious.  “Do you want to turn me down?”  She cautiously leaned her head to one side, waiting for his answer.  Will only shook his head.  Mackenzie nodded once and slipped her apron over her head.  “We’ll go out the back.”

Will stepped around the coffee bar and met Mackenzie as she moved towards the back of The Main.  He caught her hand and squeezed it lightly.

 “Okay?” Mackenzie stopped walking and turned to face him, hand still wrapped in his.

“I’ve missed the feel of your hand in mine,” Will said, stopping their forward progress.  He brought his lips down to hers and dusted them with a kiss.  When he pulled back, Mackenzie’s eyes were glazed, and she wound her arms around his neck.  As she offered her lips to his, she whispered.

“Kiss me like you mean it, Billy.”

Will was only too happy to oblige.

 

“Dinner will be ready in just a few minutes,” Mackenzie called from the kitchen.  “Can I fix you a drink?”

“I’ll have whatever you’re having.”

A moment later, Mackenzie entered the living room and found that Will had begun building a fire in her fireplace.

“I hope you don’t mind.”  He tossed in the fat-lighter and watched for a moment as the fire caught quickly.

“I think it would be a travesty not to have a fire tonight.” Mackenzie handed him a drink.  “Scotch.”

“Mmm,” Will made the noise without opening his mouth and shot a curious glance at Mackenzie.  “Your taste in liquor has certainly changed.”

“I find that scotch- very good scotch- calms my nerves.”  She took a fortifying sip.  “And you have the very opposite effect on them.”

“I make you nervous?”   He reached to take her drink and set both on the mantle.

“You have always made me nervous.  Now though,” she said fighting the distraction of one of his hands in her hair and the other grabbing her hand, “now, I’m nervous because I’m terrified that I’m going to wake up and you’ll be gone again.”

“I’ll never leave you again.  I wouldn’t survive it.”  He spoke the words quietly, his lips pressed against the top of her head so that she felt the words more than she heard them.  Then, his grip on her changed as he moved her to arm’s length.  “Look at me,” he demanded.  Mackenzie’s eyes stayed fixed on a point off to the right.  He squeezed her shoulders gently.  “Look at me!”  There was a note of desperation in his voice that stirred Mackenzie enough to look up at him.  “I love you, and I’ll never let you go.  Believe that.” 

Mackenzie stepped back, needing a breath and desperately wanting to believe him. 

“Dinner should be ready."

 

Later, as the meal came to an end, Mackenzie seemed to have relaxed from their earlier encounter.

“Would you like another drink?” she asked, clearing the plates from the table.

“Sounds good.  Can I help with the dishes?”

“They’ll keep until tomorrow.”

Will nodded and moved to freshen both his drink and hers, settling in front of the fire.  He was quickly lost in his thoughts, and it was several minutes before he realized that she hadn’t joined him.  At the sound of her name, she came into the room, drying her hands on a dish towel.  Instinctively, she slid into the niche beside him on the couch and accepted the drink he offered her.

“It was easy enough to just get those dishes done.  They’d have still been there if I had left them.”

“And it bought you some time to think.”

“There’s just nothing like a good scotch,” she murmured, savoring a sip and attempting an obvious subject change.

“Your voice gets dark when you’re enjoying good liquor,” he paused, weighing his words, “and just before you would come apart under my touch.”

“Goodness.  That’s enough of that, Will.”

For the second time that evening, Will took the glass out of Mackenzie’s hand; he placed both on the coffee table.

“And now, I’m going to kiss you, because I can’t think about doing anything else.” 

Mackenzie’s eyes grew wide, but before she could respond, Will’s mouth captured hers in a tender kiss.  It was full of longing, and Will tried to convey everything he was feeling.  The kiss deepened and their hands explored each other, old memories waking in the light of new experiences.  Mackenzie closed her eyes and gave herself over to enjoying the long-awaited touch of Will’s hands.  He caught the hem of her sweater and raised it up over her head, gently tugging her arms free.  As she leaned back to allow herself access to undress him, she caught the concerned look in Will’s eyes.  His fingers reached forward and traced the line of a scar that traversed her lower abdomen and disappeared into the waistband of her jeans.

“What happened, Mac?”  His quiet voice reached deep into her heart.

"Knife wound I got covering a Shiite protest in Islamabad."  Will pursed his lips, not finding the humor in Mac's words.  She squared her shoulders and stood.  “Eight years ago, I was diagnosed with uterine cancer.”  She met his eyes, a hard edge coming into her voice.  “There were several options for treatment.  Everything from chemotherapy to radiation to surgery.  I opted to have surgery.  It was the only option that could 100% get rid of the cancer, and I didn’t want to take any chances.”  Some of the old pain from making that decision welled up, but she quickly tamped it back down.  She watched Will fight for breath, watched the emotions play across his features.

“You always talked about children…” his voice trailed off, heavy with emotion and unspoken regrets.  He crossed the room to where her pacing had taken her.

“It’s been a lot of years, Billy.  I’m okay, genuinely.  I knew a long time before the diagnosis that I wasn’t going to have children.”  She gave a tentative but solid smile, and some of the edge left her voice when she spoke again.  “They just weren’t in the cards for me.”

He kissed her softly.  “I’m sorry, Mac, that you had to go endure it, that I wasn’t here supporting you, for all of it.”  He gathered her close and held her body tight to his, the possibility that she might have been lost to him forever reminding him again of how precious every moment was.  “I can’t fix that I wasn’t here, Mac.  I can’t fix any of it.”

For the first time since he had reappeared in her life, Will sounded unsure, like the fight wasn’t his for the winning.  Mac’s heart broke for him.

“Billy,” she kissed his chin and then his lips as she spoke, “you’re here now.  There’s nothing anyone can do about the past.”  She bit down gently on his bottom lip, trying to bring him fully back to their present.  “You’re here now,” she offered again. 

Finally, his eyes met hers, and he seemed to hear her.  His mouth crashed into hers, kissing her with a fierce hunger.  She softened into him, luxuriating in the taste of his mouth, the secure comfort of his arms.  Somehow, they made their way to the bedroom, years of desire and longing fueling their need for each other.  They made love, spent hours in each other’s arms, relearning each other, delighting in the rekindled passion of true love. 

Much later, as Mackenzie slept, hair tumbled on the pillow, moonlight peeked through the window and cast a pale beam across her face, bringing to light the faint lines around her eyes that indicated a genuine life.  He watched her, fighting his own satisfied exhaustion and was struck again by how much of her life he had missed.  Will was pulled from his musing by Mackenzie stirring, her eyes fluttering open, not truly awake.  

“You okay?” she mumbled through half-parted lips.

“Always,” he said, and pulled her tight in against him.  She melded into him and slipped deeper into sleep.  “I will never leave you again, Mac,” he whispered before closing his eyes and allowing sleep to claim him.

 

Mackenzie was awake with the sun the next morning.

“It’s Christmas,” she whispered as she slipped from the bed and tugged her robe on.  With a look back at the sleeping form of Will, Mackenzie smiled and pulled the bedroom door closed as she headed for the kitchen.

Within ten minutes, the coffee was brewing, and the counters were cluttered with ingredients for dishes that Mackenzie could assemble now and bake off before the family arrived for Christmas dinner later in the day.  As she worked, she ticked off the list in her head.  _Don and Sloan are bringing pies.  Charlie’s smoking a turkey._   The mental image of that made her laugh aloud.  _Leona is bringing… booze, that’s right._   Cooking wasn’t on Leona’s list of ‘will do’ activities, but she liked to contribute something, nonetheless.  In short order, Mackenzie had finished all of the prep work that could be completed early, and she turned her mind toward breakfast.  A glance at the clock showed that it was still early, and she really had no idea what Will’s sleeping habits were anymore.

Mackenzie reached for a canister of flour to put away, but her elbow collided with her coffee cup.  She made a wild grab for it, saving it from turning completely over, but she wasn’t able to keep it from sloshing across the counter.

“Damn!” she swore quietly and reached for a dish towel.

“What’s that matter, Mac?” Will asked, entering the kitchen.

“Spilled coffee,” she shrugged at him.  “Good morning.  How’d you sleep?”

“I haven’t slept that well in… well in years,” he said, pulling her into his arms and kissing her soundly.  “Coffee smells good though.”  She wrinkled her nose at him.

“Because it’s spilled all over the counter?”  Mackenzie stepped out of his arms, pulled a mug from the cupboard, and filled it for Will.

“Because you make good coffee, you crazy woman!”  He took a long, appreciative sip of the hot liquid and set the cup down.  “Do you want to go out for breakfast, or should we cook?”  He kissed her lips gently, with more tenderness and affection than ardor.

“By ‘we cook’, do you mean I’ll cook and you’ll flit around my kitchen getting in the way and generally being a nuisance?”  She smiled innocently up at him, and he laughed heartily.

“Well, I take issue with the word ‘flit’, being very tall and ruggedly masculine.”  He flexed his bicep in an attempt to prove his point.  “But the rest of what you said seemed accurate.” 

“Well, I hope you’re prepared to be very tall and ruggedly handsome in this kitchen.  There’s not a thing open today.  The entire town is shut down.”

“It’s ruggedly masculine, but I think we can accept handsome.”  He kissed her again, reveling in his ability to reach out and touch her, loving that her lips were again his.  “What do you mean the town is shut down?”

“It’s Christmas, Billy.  Who’s going to run the town today?”  She turned back toward the cupboards, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth for a moment before she continued.  “Any requests for breakfast?”

“Hey—“ Will caught the shift in Mac’s body language.  “What just happened?”

“Nothing!”  Her reply came too quickly.  He stood silently, waiting for her to open up to him.  “This,” she said, stepping further away from him and gesturing to the space between them.  “Does it feel just a little bit… ”

“It’s been 20 years, Mac.  We can give ourselves one morning to find that rhythm again.  Don’t put so much pressure on it.”  She still looked unsure, so he continued.  “I love you.  You love me.  We’re here, together, and that’s an ‘as long as we both shall live’ state.  What else do we need to know?”

She nodded slowly. He pulled her close to him again and captured her lips with his, this time with passion.  After only a heartbeat, he felt her sigh against him and give herself over to the kiss.  Her arms wound around his neck, and their bodies came closer, closing all space between them.

“Okay,” she sighed, finally taking a step back.

“Okay?’ he said, smiling down at her.

“Yes.  You’re right.  What else do I need to know?”  She gestured to a barstool, indicating that he should sit.  “I’m going to make breakfast.”  He raised an eyebrow at her, a thought occurring to him. 

“You don’t have to go in today?"

“No!  It’s Christmas, Billy.  I told you, we don’t work on Christmas in this town.”

He came off the stool and wrapped his arms around her waist, kissing the back of her neck, taking a moment to tug at her earlobe with his teeth.

“So, no one is expecting you anywhere.”  She shook her head, savoring the feel of his mouth on her.  “And no one is expected here for hours and hours?”  She nodded this time but didn’t try her voice.  “I’ve got a really good idea about what we can do with all that free time.”

“Some things,” she said, breathing beginning to quicken, “never change.”  She rolled her head, further exposing her neck to him.  “You’ve always been insatiable.”

“Only for you, honey.”  He capitalized on the opportunity and kissed the soft skin between her neck and her collarbone.  “Merry Christmas, Mackenzie.”

She turned in his arms and offered herself to him, heart and soul, knowing that, while the path had been bumpy, they were finally where they needed to be.  It was, actually, all that she needed to know.

“Merry Christmas, Billy.”

 

~The End~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And they lived happily ever after... for more years than anyone ever dared to hope.
> 
> Thanks so much for reading along. Y'all are wonderful. I'd love to hear what you thought about the conclusion!
> 
>  
> 
> ~We now return to your regularly scheduled programming. Please stay tuned for the concluding chapters of 'Something There' in the coming weeks.~

**Author's Note:**

> My darlings, what did you think? The first chapter is longer than subsequent chapters will be, but I hope to have this piece completed at around 25/30K words around New Years.
> 
> Please let me hear from you-- it's always a little bit nerve-wracking to present new work!
> 
> xx  
> C


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